“Stalker [H.S] ➣ Daddy!Kink” (Amnesia, take me)

[This review was previously published in Italian here.]

Greetings. I am JoSebach: I’ve been writing, reading and reviewing fanfictions as a hobby for several years by now. I discovered the Demons of Wattpad’s existence just a couple years ago by chance and I couldn’t help but gather all the guts I could and ask them to join their team. It’s a pleasure to meet you all! This will be the translation of my own first review for the Demons. I hope my English won’t disappoint you readers: whenever you find some mistakes or typos, feel free to inform me.

But enough with formalities and let’s scrape a corner from the bottom of this dark barrel. It’s about average, but not less disturbing.
Today we’re going to talk about “Stalker [H.S] ➣ Daddy!Kink“, written by bambigirl23.
Its ten-thousand-word-long content, split in thirteen chapters, has been viewed more than 353 thousand times. The summary states:

Lauryn is a nieve girl, with her skater skirts and knee socks. At only 16 years
old she doesn’t know what the world holds, the people it holds, the crazy things it holds. When her life is flipped up side down by her insane and might I add attractive stalker what happens?

Jokes aside, I can guarantee you in this work, if anything, there is no grain of logic, both plot-wise and character-wise.

The story starts in December with Lauryn, our likable main character who, as this type of female protagonists we’ve learned to get familiar with, is transgressive and believes to be neglected from parental care. Wearing her boots, she leaves her home to meet Keegan, her unknown-year-old boyfriend, for an appointment in the «mall downtown». On her way, she happens to collide with a brick wall that is immediately revealed to be Harry, a very tall stranger she also defines «the quite attractive man I might add», despite in that exact moment Harry is harshly scolding her for hitting him.
With a change of point of view, we find out, thought, that he got in her way on purpose, as he apparently knows everything about her and he couldn’t resist getting closer to her, pleased to see her submissive reaction.
Anyway, she resumes her walk, uneasy while having the impression of «several sets of eyes watching» her, which are actually Harry’s and his cronies’.

With no further incidents she meets up with Keegan in the mall. As he bids her with a «Hey babe» she thinks, quote (Lauryn POV):

Sometimes I wish he would say nicer things, like ‘hi beautiful’ or anything besides just saying I was hot.

I beg of you to keep in mind this little detail, since the protagonist will readily forget about it, alongside thousands other things on the way.

Suddenly a girl (who?) screams and Keegan goes for the rescue despite Lauryn’s protests. It’s funny how in a mall during December apparently only the protagonist and her boyfriend hear somebody’s cry. Also, the subtlety the author uses to describe the settings, I’m speechless. Quote (Lauryn POV):

He doesn’t even listen he just runs through the streets of downtown London, England to the ally where the scream came from.

Evgenij:- Add the postcode and there is everything. At least, though, this time the setting is made known (unlike in more popular fanfictions, i.e. “Dark”).-

Anyway she follows him and reaches him. Quote (Lauryn POV):

Chasing after Keegan to the ally way, I see a girl on the ground in a pool of blood. Probably dead, my heart falls as I see the girl there, I think I might faint. until I see Keegan pressed against a wall with five very tall and very attractive boys around him.

They’re bad boys, yes, but attractive, too. I’m glad you’ve got your priorities straight, Lauryn! Some guys are blocking your boyfriend with their muscles while stopping you thanks to their… charm? Really, how can she just zone out like this? Quote (Lauryn POV):

In that split second I was going to tell them to put him down but the boy with the blonde hair, pulls out a gun and shots Keegan right through the head.

“No!” I scream as I see my boyfriends eyes role to the back of his head as the drop him to the ground.

By the way yes, Niall shots Keegan, now dead. Let’s remember him which a minute of silence.

Evgenij:- No, they killed him!-
Fanwriter91:- Those bastards!-

Liam starts laughing alongside the team (except Harry, because he’s The Bad Boy), amused for spotting a «peeping Tom», referring to Lauryn, since she’s the prime witness of the crime; she attempts to flee but Louis catches her. And that’s when we all get the same question lingering in our brain: what are the motives behind the two murders (Keegan and the unknown girl) and then an abduction to take place? Quote (Lauryn POV):

“Our friend harry here -” he pauses to point at him he still has no emotion. “Has had a liking for you for quite sometime now, and we think it’s about time he gets what he wants”.

“And what he wants is you”.

OK, now I get it, thanks.
Louis takes advantage of the situation, having the upper hand, and scares the protagonist, like any Bad Boy Junior would. This exact scene is shown both with Harry’s and Lauryn’s point of views, in order to make things more complete or more confusing, your pick. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“So you know what we are going to do about that Lauryn?” The shortest one of the five boys say.

Wait how did he know my name?

“Wha- how… how do you know my name?” I stutter, confused and scarred out of my mind.

“He asked you a question” The blonde one says, but he doesn’t say it as aggressively as the other boys have talked, more like yelled.

I want to remind our dear protagonist that this so-called blonde man is the direct responsible of her boyfriend’s demise! And since when one gives so much attention to such trivial details under these particular circumstances?! Golly! But apparently she’s a mentalist since, quote (Lauryn POV):

“Um wha…what are you going to do.” I say cautious and nervous of the response.

“Where gonna take you” The man I bumped in to earlier says with a slight smirk.

But I can’t point my finger, on it but he looks like he is having a battle with himself.

And, believe it or not, she’s right: Harry is hesitating. His insecurities are due to his so-called bipolarism: in fact he has no intention to harm her, «but ‘he’ doesn’t care» in a doctor Jekyll and mister Hyde style. Hence, following the original plan, Zayn nacortises Lauryn with «a drugged cloth» and they put her into their truck.

She wakes up in an unknown bedroom. Probably not a good omen, no, but at least we find out there is a glimpse of common sense in this protagonist as she thinks that maybe the best thing to do is flee from the place. While inspecting the room she’s found herself in, she notices the five guys from before staring at her. Rightly startled, she fearfully and shyly asks them who they are. Emh, doesn’t she recall what happened earlier? Well, maybe that actually makes sense, since she just woke after a chloroform-induced sleep. They answer her question, introducing themselves one after the other, like some kids at their first day of third grade! Seriously, they do it as if it’s the most natural thing to do after what happened! Louis is «the more confident one of the group», Niall the shyest, Zayn the most attractive, Liam the friendliest one. Of course, because that’s how she describes the strangers who, respectively, stopped her, killed her boyfriend, narcotized her and harassed her.

We’re forgetting somebody, aren’t we? Of course: the instigator, the true culprit of all this ordeal, «last but not least» here we have our dear Harry; he presents himself as an emotionless character, predictable. Not for our protagonist, though: his cynical demeanor apparently pisses her off, so much so she dares to complain! Quote (Lauryn POV):

And last but not least…

“I’m Harry.”, he says with no emotion. What is wrong with him? His friend, Louis, makes a big deal about how he wants me and all he can say is “I’m Harry”?

So, Lauryn, you’ve conveniently forgotten these guys are responsible of your boy’s (and the unnamed girl’s) deaths and of your abduction, though you can recall the idiotic claim Louis did back then?! Goodness, I’m gonna repeat it until I faint.
And besides, why are you complaining? Lauryn, what do you want from Harry, what is he supposed to do to you? I mean, you’re already in (I can guess one of the five guys’) bedroom which, alongside being surrounded by the above-mentioned, which doesn’t play on your favour. But why worry, when now everyone acts like a bunch of teens in the schoolyard, with Harry trying to act like the tough guy? How can this make any logical sense?!

What follows is even more embarrassing: Lauryn doesn’t have the time to utter her name before the band says it in a choir as angelic as a schoolchildren in a field trip can be. Here they say how they know everything (yes, everything) about Lauryn. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“We know everything about you, your full name is Lauryn Spencer Grace, your 16 years old, your favourite singer is Lana Del Rey and you are vegetarian.”, Harry says like he know this by heart.

Of course, because that’s extremely private information, surely not something a sixteen-year-old girl would share in her Instagram bio. And look with how much passion and devotion our bipolar Harry says it, knowing it by heart. Anyway, please try to remember her complete name Lauryn Spencer Grace, because here memory is such a rare, pure, even divine gift, at this point!
Quote (Lauryn POV):

I stare at him for a while contemplating whether to call him a psycho creep or not say anything at all.

Yeah, that will definitely help you, Lauryn.

In the end the girl snaps demanding to know where the heck she’s now. At that Harry scolds her for swearing, the latter then apologizing submissively and scared, while Harry gets upset and thinks:«I hate that she is so scared of me. No your not, he says.» He explains they are in the boys’ house and she’ll be brought back home since it’s night time and a pretty girl such as she is vulnerable by herself and, of course, she reluctantly thanks him. What?
She asks him the reason he killed her boyfriend and Harry simply replies telling how Keegan wasn’t who he claimed to be. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

Evgenij:- Here, I knew that! Harry is speaking ill of the good guy of all this story because he cannot defend himself, being dead. So many wrong-doings good guys like Keegan here or the more popular Decklon from Hazard Hall must endure, even after death.-

And of course, like we all readers, she asks them the motive behind her “abduction” if now they are going to bring her back home and Harry tells her how she would have never followed them willingly. What the heck am I reading.
I swear, I’m not making up any of this, even because I wonder who would be able to come up with this in the first place!
Quote (Harry POV):

“Where the f.uck am I?!”, Lauryn screams.

[…]

“We are at our house, we’ll be driving you back to your house, it’s not very safe for a pretty girl like you to be downtown alone at night.”

“Thank you?”, She says reluctantly.

“Can I ask a couple more questions?”, Lauryn asks.

“Go on,” I say.

“Why did you kill Keegan, he was my boyfriend?”, she says confused.

“Well ‘Keegan’ wasn’t exactly who he says he was. Let’s leave it at that.”, I say to her, why does she have to bring him up? “What’s your other question?”, I add.

“Okay… um why did you drug me and bring me here if you are letting me go home?”.

“You wouldn’t have come here willingly if I just told you to get in a van with five strangers would you?”, I say to her with a slight chuckle.

“No I guess not,” she smiles shyly.

Okay? Really, Lauryn? Okay is all you can say when they give you the most nonsensical motives behind your boyfriend’s murder?! What is «Keegan’ wasn’t exactly who he says he was» supposed to mean? Ask more questions!
Anyway they explain nothing about her abduction: what benefit did these five guys get from having Lauryn passed out for the whole afternoon…? Maybe it’s better we’ll never know.
At this point I can understand Lauryn’s uncertainty in asking more questions: after all, it’s not like she’s just fallen in love with Harry and thus decided to accept his motives, right? …Right?

Then the two protagonists leave the room, not without another «battle with himself» between Harry and ‘him’, for the latter wants to keep the maiden for himself in the cellar. However this heinous voice stops speaking as Lauryn talks with Harry, because good always triumphs over evil! …Right?

So they start the car and Harry already knows where Lauryn lives. She begins pondering over that, forgetting the fact he knows everything. But who cares, she wants to know her Bad Boy herself! Quote (Lauryn POV):

“O-okay um Harry tell me about your self!”, I say excitedly, for some reason I want to know everything about him.

“Well as you know my name is Harry, Harry Edward Styles, I am 23 years old my best mates are Niall, Louis, Liam and Zayn, I am the CEO of Styles Enterprise and no I am not too young to be a CEO. The things I like to do in my free time include watching Castle, listening to The killers and The Arctic Monkeys, I also love to travel and read.”, He finishes talking and I think I might be in love.

I’ve never met anyone who likes almost all the same things that I do. If he likes Castle he probably likes BONES and if he likes the Killers and the Arctic Monkeys he more than likely likes Coldplay, The Fray and Parachute.

Oh, love, who could’ve imagined that! I want to remind you, dear Lauryn, how earlier you wanted to call him a psychopath, a creepy guy, have you forgotten about that too?! And even if we keep aside the two murders (don’t forget the unknown girl) and the kidnapping, how can the protagonist fall in love with a guy she’s just met in the last ten minutes where they have in common their music and entertainment’s tastes?! Anyway, dear readers, please, I ask of you to remember how old is our Bad Boy, 23 years old.

Evgenij:- Keeping aside all this hybristophilia over nine thousands (almost to rival Kelsey’s from “Danger”), is it just me or the fact that Harry is the CEO of a company named after his surname reminds me terribly of a certain Christian Grey from the series Fifty Shades of dread and horror?-
JoSeBach:- Such smart references, almost erudite, no cliche, at all.-

Anyway, apparently these few similarities are enough to leave all the misdeeds behind, so much so she even asks to know more about him. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“Wow you have a great taste in music! What other artist do you like?”, I ask.

“Haha to many to name kitten I’ll tell you some other time.”, He says to me with a smile.

Wait did he just call me kitten? That is so weird no one has ever called me that before. But I like it!

Yes, he’s just called her kitten and I don’t know what to add, other that at the beginning of the story she even said:«Sometimes I wish [Keegan] would say nicer things, like ‘hi beautiful’ or anything besides just saying I was hot.». And she likes it. But what am I asking, of course she likes it: he’s the Bad Boy, after all. Keegan was a good boy but, just like Decklon in “Hazard Hall”, his destiny was already written.
And, honestly, how can she be so sure about his hobbies and tastes? What if he’s actually using his knowledge of her against the naive girl? I mean, we’re talking about a guy who is, first of all, a homicidal stalker.

They reach her home, they exchange goodbyes and she notices the sadness in his voice. Harry leaves with his beautiful black Lamborghini. Then, she immediately receives a text message from Harry, with a sweet goodnight.

The next day the girl wakes up at 6:30 «for the first day of grade 11». Wait, what? Isn’t the story set in December? And it’s the first day of school? Well, how could we miss such important cliche?
So she goes taking a shower but, quote (Lauryn POV):

I slip off my clothes and hop into the shower, when my phone buzzes.

H: Baby perhaps you should close your curtains. -xx Harry

I turn around just in time to see his black Lamborghini speed off.

‘Smh’ I think to my self. Maybe next time I can show off and have a little fun with him… wait what am I talking about, Harry is a- I don’t even know how to describe Harry.

Do you need some help, Lauryn? I’m going to give you a hand! Harry is a stalker (other than a killer)! And you having a little fun with him? Are you serious? What the heck is wrong with you?! Sorry if I’m rising my voice but, seriously, that’s just too much. Lauryn, are you even aware of what you’re saying, of all he did to you? Your boyfriend died before your very eyes because of Harry? Hello? Lauryn, are you still there? Can you answer me?

Evgenij:- I want to humbly underline how this scenes is clearly the same one from the second chapter of “Dark” where Harry stalks Bo to her home and he spies her from the window while she undresses herself and then sends her a horrific text message. And, despite every atrocity from that abominable fanfiction, at least we can say Bo got scared when she realized she was spied by a stalker! However these similarities are quite predictable by now: “Dark” caused these circumstances to become a trend and every time they use such reference it grows in atrocity and horror.-
JoSeBach:- What a trend…-

Luckily for us, at school Spencer joins the picture: she is the best friend of the protagonist. Spencer reminds our beloved Lauryn of Keegan’s existence, you know, the guy the girl had a relation with until yesterday, now in the afterlife? We are in eternal debts with you, Spencer, thanks to you now Lauryn remembers about the ordeal and realizes nobody is investigating and she starts pondering on Harry’s «‘Keegan’ wasn’t exactly who he says he was». At this point Lauryn can immediately report– lie to her friend with a convenient «we broke up last weekend». Yes, she said that! And the friend promises her to, quote (Lauryn POV):

“We- we broke up last weekend,” I say sadly having to lie to my best friend, the person I can tell anything to.

“Aw baby where is he, I’ll rip his throat out and then after we’ll go and watch ‘Love Actually’ and ‘The Internship’ with sexy a$$ Dylan O’brien okay?”, she says sympathetically.

“No need to rip out his throat it was my fault but we can still watch ‘Love Actually’ and ‘The Internship’!”.

Of course there is no need.

Evgenij:- I assume the police is not investigating because it coveniently doesn’t exist, right?-
JoSeBach:- Of course! After all, what even are parents, relatives, classmates, friends, when they can all be easily erased!-

The day goes on with their classes, and Lauryn, Spencer and the unknown friend named Rachelle, alongside their own boyfriends, decide to have lunch outside school. The recipe for a gaffe: in fact Rachelle asks Lauryn who is that “””guy””” on his black motorbike staring at our naive protagonist. So Lauryn walks over to him and Harry apparently has organized a date for the two of them and asks her to go out, all while calling her «baby girl», a moniker she rejects with disgust and confusion. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“Hey, baby girl,” he says with a smirk.

“I’m not your ‘baby girl’ why are you here Harry?”, I say confused.

“I came to take you on our date”.

“Harry what makes you think I want to go on a date with you?”, I say quiet rudely.

“Our relationship kind of started of weird,” He says with a nervous laugh.

First of we were never in a relationship, secondly him and his friends killed my boyfriend or whoever he was because I apparently didn’t know who he was so no I’m not going to go on a date with him.

“Harry I don’t know you, you kidnapped me and killed my boyfriend,” I say in a whisper so no one else hears.

“We killed him for a good reason we killed him to save you,” he says in a deeper more raspy voice he seems different when his voice is like that.

“Bottom line Harry im not going on a date with you,” I say while walking away.

“Fine baby girl just wait we’ll have lunch some other time,” he yells for everyone to hear and turn around and look at me.

It seems the protagonist at times remembers of his crimes and, hence, he’s a criminal! Then why the heck does she keep saying things like “You did something wrong to me so I don’t go with you”?! Just report him to the police already! Why do you just reject his whims? I would expect such reaction in other circumstances, such as if these two were in a short relationship, maybe even having an intercourse, and then she doesn’t want to seem him ever again because it was a mistake! This would explain why she quietly reminds him of his misdeeds, other than he being hecking asshole, wanting to make public their «weird» relationship.
However their reactions doesn’t match with the situation, even if Harry is still an asshole, his attitude gaining the interest of Lauryn’s “””friends”””. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“So um, who was that and why did he call you baby girl,” Spencer ask suspiciously with a little smirk.

“Um he’s he’s no one…”, I say nervously.

“Oh come on spill why does that hot older guy want to take you to lunch?”, Rachelle ask.

“Okay baby girl,” Spencer teases.

“Holy shit Lauryn’s got a sugar daddy,” Rachelle yells.

Everyone outside turned to look at me I blushed so hard.

“Sh sh I do not have a sugar daddy Harry is just a friend,” I say to them.

“Oh so his name is Harry I thought you said you didn’t know him,” Spencer says with a raised eyebrow.

“Um no I didn’t… uh I have a french test so I’m gonna study bye,” I say as fast as I can to get out of there.

Goodness, what shitty friends you have, Lauryn. How can they just say sugar daddy so lightheartedly?

The point of view switches back to Harry’s: he’s in his company office and here we get some slut-shaming for the poor and clumsy female secretary, the anonymous Elizabeth, where her only fault is wearing a miniskirt in her workplace. Inconvenient? Perhaps, but this doesn’t justify all the insults. The cowl does not make the monk!

But Harry doesn’t know it, so much so to insult the woman that is dressed just like Lauryn! Quote (Harry POV):

“Fuck Elizabeth just get the fucking file and stop trying to seduce me before I fire your ass,” I yell at my slutty secretary.

“Ri-right away sir I’m so so sorry it won’t happen again,” She says looking down at the ground.

I really need to get better employees, ones that won’t whore around in short skirts and see through shirts.

“Here’s the file Mr. Styles,” Elizabeth says nervously.

“Thank you Elizabeth you can leave now,” I say to her as she didn’t get the memo that it was time to leave my office.

His mood is lightened by the mere idea of having lunch with his obsession: he calls her, still calling her baby despite her explicit demand to stop. In the end he asks her if she wants to eat sushi for lunch but she tries to invent a very-much-fool-proof excuse, so much so he promises her to bring her with his car anyway.
Please don’t forget of the sushi, I beg of you! I know I’m asking too much to you readers, but soon you’ll realize why, you’ll see!

And guess what! At school a certain girl is called to the school office. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“Can Lauryn Taylor please come to the office, Lauryn Taylor please come to the office. Thank you”.

Wait, what? Lauryn Taylor? Wasn’t her name Lauryn Spencer Grace, as the guys said before? I didn’t know it was possible to change one’s name as if it was a social network’s nickname. Gosh, I must try it now!

She goes to the office and basically there is a certain uncle named Harry Styles who’s waiting her in the parking lot for an early leave and the office lady asks her to sign a notice so she can go back to lessons after lunch. And she accepts! She doesn’t resist! And while she does this she thinks, quote (Lauryn POV):

What the hell is wrong with him he doesn’t listen. I don’t understand why he doesn’t see that I don’t want to befriend him or talk to him. He killed my boyfriend and ruined my life.

But in the meantime, Lauryn, you accepted without batting an eye? And in fact then you act like a whimsical little girl! Quote (Harry POV):

“Hey Princess,” I said with a smirk.

“Hi Harry,” she said with an annoyed tone

“Are you ready for our date?”, I said
choosing to ignore her attitude.

“Harry this isn’t a date but sure,” she says looking down at the ground.

“OK well let’s go on our official ‘not’ date,” I say opening the door of my Land Rover for Lauryn.

“I thought you drove the Lamborghini?”, she asks with the most adorabley confused expression.

“Baby girl I’m a CEO of my own company so I’m filthy rich.”, I say with a little smirk.

“Oh,” is all she says

Right, just think that he drives a Land Rover and he’s fucking rich!

They reach the sushi restaurant (right?). Lauryn is still confused with her sentiments: Harry is appealing but at the same time an asshole that thinks they are friends. A waiter arrives whose name, Mason, is told us by Lauryn even before he can introduce himself! Does she know him? I’m not sure sushi restaurants’ employees have a nameplate on their chest, like fast food ones.

The two sit on a table and Harry asks Lauryn to talk about herself…? Eh? Wait, but doesn’t he know her completely already? But no, they start the «twenty one questions» game, because apparently he actually know «almost everything about her».
We get to know Lauryn’s ambitious wishes her university «for something that has to do with English» (oh yeah, how can we forget they are all British people), while Harry conveniently owns a publishing house and managed to buy, alongside many small businesses, Tumblr. OK?

The waiter comes back for the orders. Quote (Harry POV, of course):

“Hello I’m your waiter Mason, here are you menu’s. What would you like to drink?”, he says with a smile directed at Lauryn I can see he likes Lauryn I mean who wouldn’t? But if he keeps on staring at her like that I’m gonna lose it. She’s mine.

“Uh, can I get a strawberry milkshake with extra whip cream”, she says looking at me for approval. I nod my head yes with silent approval.

“I’ll have a rum and coke thank you,” I say dismissing him. […]

And my world, I can’t believe everyone wants this hecking sixteen-year-old girl, are you for real?! Then, she explain she’s a 153 centimeters (5’1) tall, wouldn’t that make her look even younger?! One teacher I had in high-school once was confused with an elementary student due to her shortness!
And does anybody know Mason’s age? I know it’s trivial at this point, but the first time I read this work I imagined him as a very young intern and the second time as a thirty-year-old single man. The same goes for Keegan, her killed boyfriend! I mean, we only know Harry’s age, which is 23, still too old for a sixteen-year-old.

And anyway do you recall, dear readers, that Lauryn and Harry were supposed to go to a sushi restaurant? Jeez, a strawberry milkshake with whip cream is supposed to be just a drink? Is this an ice-cream parlor? And he asks for rum and coke? Are they in a bar? Where the heck are they?

The conversation resumes with musical tastes: she must underline her love for Lana Del Rey, later on asking more important questions. Quote (Harry POV):

“She’s basically my mother!”, She says very excitedly. She’s so excited she looks like she will faint.

Golly jeez, even to faint?!
And then, quote (Harry POV):

She looks so cute when she starts to talk about something she is passionate about.

“I’m guessing you really like her, eh?,” I say with a smile

“Yea I really do! Keegan and I…”, she says with her smile turning into a frown.

If she keeps on talking about him I’m going to lose it. I killed him for a good reason.

“Harry why did you kill my ex-boyfriend?”

I cannot get this straight: how can she call Keegan her ex? Holy molly, he’s dead, he’s not an ex! Who must mourn the partner would never call the missing love like a former lover!

Anyway, what we should focus on is the motive of all this ordeal.
After her question the scene stops, time-skipped to the end of the day, where Lauryn ponders on what excuse Harry told her. Watch out, dear readers, because nobody can be ready for the pile of bullshit written here in 3… 2… 1…
Quote (Lauryn POV):

He said that Keegan was planning to do bad things to me and that he wasn’t a good person. How he used to do drugs and rape girls, the list just goes on and on. I also found out he was cheating on me with three other girls who I don’t know and that Keegan was planning to drug me then skin me alive. It sounds crazy but Harry had all the proof and evidence.

OK, so Keegan wasn’t a good person, he was a very dangerous criminal that used to do drugs, rape girls and other vicious acts? And he wanted to– What? Skin Lauryn alive?! Holy shit, who the fuck was this guy?! What the fuck happened?
And then, according to Lauryn and Harry, Keegan’s acts would somehow justify his own murder, because «Harry had all the proof and evidence». Holy fuck, Harry, go talk to the hecking police! At least you would’ve ended up being London’s hero and you would’ve gained Lauryn’s trust, envisioning you as her savior!
But let’s say Harry loves being the bad guy, so he had to somehow kill Keegan by his own hands. Then how the fuck did they organize the plan? How poorly can one think to believe killing an unknown girl in an alley as a bait for Keegan was even a decent idea? How could they tell somebody else wasn’t going to check on the girl? In fact Lauryn joined in the picture, being the main witness! Why nobody thought to stop her beforehand? Heavens, couldn’t those five hooligans’ brains think to send Zayn, the most attractive guy to the protagonist, to distact her?! And also, why kill this unfortunate unnamed girl and not Keegan directly?! WHY?! WHY THIS PAIN AND SUFFERING FOR LOGICAL THOUGHTS!?

Evgenij:- It’s pointless to ponder on it: this clumsy justification to redeem the violent Bad Boy (in this case a murderer) never makes sense: it’s just an absurd and horrific way to blame good guys (even after their “defeat”, in this case). Must I remind you Justin from “Hazard Hall”? It was the same modus operandi: there is was said that Decklon (the genuine one!) wasn’t a good guy, with only proof Bieber’s word, the one of a violent misogynous pusher.-
JoSeBach:- Forgive my ignorance: I still have to learn many things from these genre of fanfictions. Then again, I’m pretty sure I’ll react that way all the same.-

Lauryn, though, doesn’t care about any of it… or not completely anyway: quote (Lauryn POV):

I actually believe Harry. To say the least I think I trust him.

I guess you could kind of say he saved my life but then again Harry killed Keegan which isn’t a good thing.

But there is always a reason for someone’s reaction or action to something else that happened. I guess I will just have to find out more about this whole situation.

And with this sentence she starts her investigations regarding Harry: she inserts his name in the search engine, ending up on a Wikipedia article with very few information, where she’ll find the article source with everything. Quote (Lauryn POV):

The next link was on ‘businessmen.com’.

I’ve never heard of this website before, to be quite honest it sounds like the name of a gay porn website. When I clicked on it I found something completely different.

The website was biographies of wealthy business man.

You don’t say? businessmen.com is about business men?! Leaving aside this idiotic scene (I won’t add any comment because, really, it’s preposterous and cringe), why is this part in past tense?! Because it doesn’t change! Quote (Lauryn POV):

On Harry’s biography it said that he was the CEO of Styles Enterprise and Publishing it also said he owned many small business but none were listed. It had many general things like he was 25 years old and how tall he was, which was 6’1.

Bless, tall guys are my weakness.

It also said his relationship status which was singlesingle… I can’t deny that I wasn’t happy when I found out he was single.

Also on the Web site it had his network and says that $49.2 million is how much he makes each year.

I closed my laptop while thinking how interesting that was.

Of course, it sure must be interesting discovering things you already knew, for instance that he is the CEO of a publishing house, he bought other enterprises, that he is 25– 25 years old?! Wasn’t he 23? But no, because the writer said right at the end of this chapter she changed her mind regarding his age. Well, time is relative, surely not because then it would mean for the main protagonist to be 18 and their relationship to be two years long. Also, how can she be so surprised about his tallness? Holy heck, Lauryn, you even saw him earlier in the afternoon, have you forgotten about it already? But who cares when he’s handsome, single and rich, right? Right?!

Evgenij:- I don’t know you all, but I cannot help but notice all the influence from Fifty Shades of Abuse and Psychopathy.-
JoSeBach:- One learns from the best!-

The next day Lauryn goes late to school, overwhelmed by the same thoughts that troubled her in the night: she’s still doubting Harry for his many mysteries and yet his attractiveness and his interest for her tells her otherwise. During her lessons she receives a message from Harry: ending the text with a cringy «All the love», he very subtly suggests they’re going to meet later in the day. She of course is confused because there was no appointment planned.

And that’s another story we’ll get explained immediately. As we all know Harry is obsessed with Lauryn, despite all his attempts in denying it, to the point he even stalked her while she was taking the bus and he spied her from her bedroom’s window. But good news for him are delivered: Lauryn’s mother (she has a mom?!) is hired in his company as «an accountant in the small business section of my company» or whatever that means. But yeah, like Harry says, having a dinner to know better his new employee is not other than an excuse to meet Lauryn, even if it’s for a brief time. Quote (Harry POV):

More like spend a few hours with Lauryn. But a little white lie now and then isn’t a bad thing right?

Right.

Right…
Then he calls Mrs… Grace? Taylor? Oh well, whatever, her surname won’t be said in the future, so no need to worry for that. From the brief conversation we’ll just get to know her name is Lily. After that, Harry fantasizes in which miniskirt and knee socks Lauryn will wear in the night.

Back to Lauryn, she’s lying on her bed until someone knocks at the front door. Lily asks the daughter to let in the guest because, yes, only now the mother forgot to inform Lauryn earlier about the appointment! What’s wrong with everybody’s mnemonic skills?! Why don’t they try playing Memory or start learning a new language? Anyway Lauryn opens the door and a wild Harry appears. But he’s too hungry and must satisfy his libido bringing her closer to his sides, with no protests at all from her. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“What the hell Harry-“.

“Good girls don’t swear right kitten?”, he says pulling me to him, while grinding his hips onto mine.

“Ri-right Harry,” I say a little breathlessly.

They feed themselves with a bit of wild game, at least for now: their foreplay is interrupted by the oblivious Lily, since Harry stops immediately with the act. She’s just there to bid greetings to her guest and ask the daughter to set the table. Lauryn obeys and thinks of what just happened and how she should be grateful to Harry for letting her mother get a job; hence she’s very grateful to him, even if his crimes force her to investigate further. But no need to fuss further, everyone is enjoying their meal now: baked chicken and shepherd’s pie!

The three sit on the (squared? Rectangular?) table: the mother sits on a side while Harry and Lauryn of course are on the other side. And if these two youngsters are sitting that close, how can he keep himself from touching the girl in her own home while having a business dinner under the (not so attentive) gaze for her mother, my goodness!? You hoped this was not going to happen, right? Alas! Quote (Lauryn POV):

After a while of eating the delicious food I feel a hand on my thigh. What the hell?

I look down and I see that it’s Harry’s hand.

I look at him with a death glare and all he does is smirks and looks down at his food.

I swear if looks could kill he would be 6ft under right about now.

Harry is fucking inappropriately touching a minor! Lauryn could easily scream, stand up, shout again and expose him right there! Deities forbid, at least do it for this if not for the murders! But no! She lets him do it! And he keeps going!
Also, how can Lily unsee it? He’s supposed to eat hecking chicken, requiring him to use both of his hands! How can Lily not notice one of his hand constantly under the table, the other probably even uninterested with the meal! Doesn’t she find it fishy?
…Sorry, not sorry.

Obviously Lauryn starts to get impatient: in fact she starts to touch him with one hand, too! So stealthy! But you know, she wants to dominate him through her touch! What the fuck am I reading?! Quote (Lauryn POV):

Before I could reconsider my actions, I shot my hand out to land on his lap. His hand leaves my thigh to grip the table.

Noticing Harry’s fluster, Lily gets concerned and asks him if he’s OK. That’s when Lauryn gets more aggressive, her hand reaching right there. He asks if she would excuse him to use the bathroom and Lily has the audacity to ask the daughter to accompany him there!
And if these two find themselves alone while going to the restroom, how can she keep herself from swaying her sides to the right, left and center just to show him her butt? And at the same time she’s not sure what’s coming over her?! For deities’ sake! Quote (Lauryn POV):

What has come over me?

If you asked me a few days ago if I would be trying to seduce a man ten years older than me I would say no but now… I have no idea what I’m getting myself into.

In a swift move I’m pinned in between the wall and Harry.

“What where you trying to pull baby girl?”, Harry says grinding his hips into mine.

“Uh what are you talking about Harry?”

What are you talking about? Lauryn, how the fuck can you say that?! You know you’re seducing him, you’ve just said it to yourself!
And Harry likes her attitude! I want to recall you how earlier he was harassing Elizabeth, the employee, the whore who apparently tried to seduce him just with her miniskirt. OK, contradiction over nine thousands.

What follows is mere dung and really, I have no way to explain it to you if not showing you the genuine content. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“[…] Trying to seduce me… “, he says inching closer and closer to my ear. “And it’s working,” he says coming into try and kiss me, but I move my head to the side.

“Not today Harry, none of this for you” I say motioning to my body.

“But baby girl you get me so hard,” he says grinding his hips back onto mine.

“Bye, Harry have fun in the bathroom,” I say pushing him off of me and strutting back to my room.

What the hell just happened?

Nice question, Lauryn, what the fuck just happened?! She, despite her shortness, can get the better of his arousal, despite he’s fucking tall and he’s keeping her blocked on a wall?! And he obeys like a beaten dog and just locks himself into the bathroom to masturbate? Whose shit is this?! If you fellow readers, just like me, are wondering why of this nonsensical scene the original author reassures us: she doesn’t want the two to have a sexual intercourse yet, unlike many similar fanfictions.
And besides, what about poor Lily, left alone in the dining room like a stray dog?

Anyway, because of this their “””relationship””” was on a pause and for a week they don’t get in contact with each other aside Harry sending a few messages with salutations. I wonder why she is so puzzled with him signing every text with his initials and not with his full name.
Back to school, Lauryn is called again to the office and guess who is there! Lily! They exchange some words as genuinely as plastic, really. Lauryn can tell Lily is there for something else, not for the fake «I am your mother I can see you whenever I please I miss you», and the girl is not wrong at all: the woman actually wants to inform the daughter she’s going to have a business trip in Dubai for the next week. Yeeeah, and they also hired you a week ago… Why nobody finds this suspicious?!
At the news Lauryn feels betrayed by her mother since the latter promised her to never her for business trips! Amnesia everywhere! And if you’re asking that no, Lauryn has no father: Lily and he divorced, so the sixteen-year-old girl would be left alone.

Later in the day Lauryn and Lily are back home, the latter waiting for Styles to bring her to the airport. He arrives, always flattering the girl. But right before leaving, how can Lily not in the last minute remember she must give the daughter something unexpected? Quote (Lauryn POV):

“Um okay, Harry let’s go- oh wait darling I was supposed to tell you but I must have forgotten. Harry will be checking up on you each day after school”

“Wait what? I though Harry was going on the trip with you?”, I say rather confused.

“Oh no Lauryn, he is just driving me to the airport he’s staying in town. He actually offered to watch you”

“I hope that isn’t a problem Lauryn,” Harry says with a slight pout.

“Uh no, it won’t be a problem I was just a little surprised,” I say

Yeeah, as if a millionaire CEO would accept to be a babysitter for the next week. Seriously, I’m speechless.

The two adults leave and the girl make use of those hours of liberty to spruce up herself: she doesn’t want to look like a vulnerable sixteen-year-old girl, she wants to domain, she wants Harry to kiss her foot. Quote (Lauryn POV):

I need to get my self together. Every time Harry is around I cannot be a blushing, stuttering mess. I need to show him I am not just a little 16 year old. I need to show him I have a backbone.

When Harry comes over he will not be in charge as usual. I’ll make him blush and trip over his own words. He’ll see.

Do you think it’ll work? Because I don’t.

After two hours in tending her dress-up (hiked up skirt, crop top on and the highest knee socks), Lauryn hears somebody knock at the door and, chanting «It’s show time», she opens the door, predictably surprising Harry, so much so he runs into the restroom. This doesn’t make sense: ignoring him being pseudo-bipolar, why does he retreat from temptation while the week prior he wasn’t so scared to make his whims known?
After seven minutes he stays there locked up, she starts teasing him knocking at the door, just «to let his torture continue», but five minutes of that bore her and she decides to sit on the couch. She can’t even switch on the TV that Harry is back and sits on the other side of the sofa. OK. He invites her to sit on his lap and she obeys with no hesitation. OK. He asks her the motive of such unusual behavior but she refuses to answer. OK. So Harry acts the bad cop and starts touching her and that’s when she realizes how little control she has on the situation, unable to dominate him. OK. She tries to actually protest when Harry demands her to call him daddy, because, according to him, she would call him that way anyway soon enough. OK, and her reply is… is… quote (Harry POV):

“You can think that Harry but it’s never going to happen,” she says as she walks away to the basement.

“Is that why you offered to watch me Harry? So you could come over and get me to spread my legs? Or do you want me down on my knees? Is that what you wanted… Daddy?” she says as she gets down on her knees.

Wait what two seconds ago she was ranting about how she wouldn’t call me daddy. Now she’s in front of me on her knees saying it.

Yeah, it makes no sense!
Harry tells himself that’s caused by her not-so innocent nature and hence she wanted this since the very beginning. What if she too is “””bipolar”””?
However I have to object, giving the blame to the nature of her character, being the means for the writer and the readers to connect with their idols. And here it reaches its peaks, ending up in nonsensical scenarios, where “I’m yours” and “you disgust me” are mere 1 and 0 from a binary line!
Then, Lauryn stands for herself and completely rejects the Bad Boy’s request; she for once makes herself clear tripping over her own words though. Quote (Harry POV):

“Harry what I did to you was just some fun to get you all flustered, I would never, call a guy I like daddy. That’s just gross,” she says as she scrunches her noes in disgust.

“So you like me,” I say with a grin.

“Wait no I never said that-“

“Yes you did… You said you would never call a guy YOU like daddy. So basically you said you like me,” I say with a triumphant smirk.

“OK no I don’t like you I just find you visually attractive… Wait no I mean I don’t like you and I don’t find you attractive I just… I just uh,” she says as her checks start to turn red from embarrassment. Aw.

“Wait, what was that. Can you say it again?”, I say trying to make her blush just a little but more.

“N-nothing Harry… You should probably go it’s uh getting late,” she stutters a lot when I am around her.

And he leaves as a “””winner”””. Lauryn ponders on how she managed to lose and, at the same time, she wishes to see him again the following day, knowing well, deep down, this idea «is a little bit fucked up».

The next day she wakes up late due to her mother’s absence. She runs for the bus but misses it. At first she thinks to call Harry for a lift but then refrains from doing it, deciding to go to school on foot and hence skip the first class. In this short time of playing hooky she receives a message from Harry that warmly suggests her to take a ride with him after school for a surprise.
And after some «Aw he called me Darling.» and «’You shouldn’t be texting in class.H.’», Lauryn goes to the cafeteria where she meets Spencer that, of course, the writer reminds us she’s the protagonist’s BF. You know, we all have amnesia, you’ll never know! If at the beginning of the story we’ve somewhat appreciated her common sense bringing back Keegan’s memory, now we are left empty-handed: Spencer now wants to know everything about Lauryn and Harry’s relationship! I’m forced to display the original conversation, I’m sorry, but the contradiction is just right there, clear as day. Quote (Lauryn POV):

“Stop lying to me tell me everything!”, she says

“Honestly nothing is going on he came to my house a few days ago because my mum is now working for him-“

“Wait working for him what do you mean?” she asks

“Oh, uh yea he’s the CEO of Styles Enterprise”

“Wait, so you’re saying to me that he is the Harry Styles, one of the richest business men in the world?”

Spencer, did you just say he’s the most known business man in the whole world? And you know it?! Then why didn’t you recognized him the moment you lied your eyes on him when you were dining outside with your friends!? Why must one be so contradictory? And look at how sensitive she sounds when she informs Lauryn Harry’s so-called personality disorder! Quote (Lauryn POV):

“What do you mean the Harry Styles?”, I say confusedly.

“Oh, um you know he’s mentally unwell. He hasn’t publicly said what he has but people guess that he either is bipolar or has a split personality,” she says

Now that I think about it some times Harry did act differently, and honestly he did seem off from time to time. I’ll ask him about it but only when the time is right.

“Oh,” is all I say.

“Um, yea sorry to drop that on you… But continue what you were saying about how he was at your house I want all the details!”, she says as she tries to change the subject.

How can she say it as if talking about the weather? Does mental disorders mean anything to her or it’s just gossip like their relationship? I really cannot understand.
And how does Lauryn answer to the most inconvenient question? Quote (Lauryn POV):

“Oh, uh I don’t really remember um I’ll see you later,” I say as I get up quickly because in all honesty I don’t want to tell Spencer what I did to Harry. Really it’s not that bad but I don’t know, eventually I’ll tell her.

“Ohhh girl you did somethimg bad! Once you ‘remember’ you have got to tell me everything!”, I hear from behind me.

“Yea I’ll see you at the end of the day bye.”, I say as I leave the cafeteria

Lauryn leaves the cafeteria and her best friend from whom she’ll never meet again. Why? Is Lauryn kidnapped by Harry, not wanting to leave her ever again? Is she ran over by a bus? Is she going to be abducted by Keegan, turned into a zombie for his tormented revenge? Is she outside the one-dimentional world of this fanfiction, wanting to gain some independence? No, nothing of the sort! There is nothing else! Really, this eloquent conversation is deemed to be the discontinued ending of this work, since 2015, its hiatus later confirmed in the real last chapter, promising to look back at the work in September. However, considering the writer’s current disdain for the One Direction boy-band and all her future projects, I’m pretty positive there won’t any future updates.
At the bottom of the notice the comment section is filled with despondent and furious words from the many readers who are still waiting and demanding to see that scene to unravel itself. Her latest reply from 2nd September 2020 is:

I never specified which September maybe this’ll be the one 🧐

And yet still many beg of her to continue the work, the latest comment from 2nd December 2021, plea yet to be answered.

So, what else can we say about this fanfiction, about its complicated and passionate plot, its love with no reason, its grammar and conceptual mistakes? A story where Lauryn Spenc– Taylor, the young sixteen-year-old “princess”, is saved by her boyfriend’s phantom crimes thanks to the young (23yo? Or 25yo?) sugar daddy Harry Styles, slut shamer, killer, kidnapper and stalker redeemed by his handsomeness, his double personality, other than being the owner of a millionaire enterprise and a gigabyte of mnemonic storage? A story where names, ages and information are just opinions, ready to be twisted and reformed between the chapters, where the first chapter is badly written because, according to bambygirl23, “but every first chapter of books suck so yea 🙂“, where the boy-band setup is edited despite only Harry appears consistently, where scenarios are created just to be badly executed, where characters are just that, characters, where…? A story where… where… A story where…

… Ehm… What?
… What else was I about to say?
I… I don’t know…? I must’ve forgotten. Yeah, probably. Nothing important, then.

And hoping to leave this wretch behind, I thank you all readers for your precious patience. It must’ve not been easy to reach the end of this story. I wish you a nice day!

– JoSebach

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