[Article originally published in Italian. English translation made by Spectrethief, with the additional revision of JoSeBach and Evgenij.]
Hello everyone! Here is HacchanADL and in this article we will talk about the problems arising from possessing a prosperous or, more precisely, oversized breast.
I want to start with a premise: the topic involves me on a personal level and is, in fact, the first time I have spoken about it to an audience that goes far beyond the narrow circle of family and friends.
So, in addition to reporting objective data, I will take the liberty of talking about my subjective experience and various possible psychological implications.
Let us move on, then, to the facts.
The larger the breast, the greater its weight. As simple as that. Those who own it, in all likelihood, think little about it having gotten used to it, but the consistent weight that rests on the chest is not easy to counterbalance (especially if you do not have sufficiently wide shoulders), which sometimes leads us to assume hunched positions and to recess the neck in the shoulders. Gymnastics can help to correct these vices as well as to relax the cervical muscles in constant tension (and, in my case, constantly inflamed). Using a high quality bra and the right sizes is also of vital importance, but we will analyze it in the next point.
2. Finding the right bra.
In order to help us better distribute the weight of our beautiful cured meats and, at the same time, keep them high by overcoming gravity, the ideal would be to buy underwired bras with the widest possible (at least one inch) and adjustable straps, with unpadded fabric; last, but not least, pay attention to the measurements not only of the cup, but also of the circumference (a circumference too narrow can really hurt the chest, especially because of the underwire).
All very idyllic, really: knowing what to buy would get us straight half of the work done if it were not that, in Italy at least, the main underwear chains hardly sell products whose size goes beyond the Italian fourth, which corresponds to the English 36 or American M (not to mention the issue with straps, too puny and very likely to lose elasticity after a few washings). Say goodbye to nice and carefree models, unfortunately we have to make do with bland ones.
Jokes aside, finding rightly-sized bras is not actually an impossible task, but one needs to identify the right shops. Just to give an example, in my hometown there are boutiques that sell bras for oversized breasts, but at prices that are often around a hundred euros. Recently, however, I discovered by pure chance a tiny store that sells the same type of bras, even of high-quality brands, at about half the price.
The only flaw: the shortage of designs of the models. Since they’re shops for more mature ladies, the products will hardly have patterns other than solid color (black, white, flesh-color and burgundy in the best case), at most some lace…
With time, anyone gets used to such little variety… Whereas the same does not happen with the prices.
The only consolation is that, at the very least, the product is made to last.
Frankly, I have never tried to buy a bra online, but I doubt it is a simple undertaking, considering that each model has a certain wearability, even taking into account all the parameters listed above.
The same fate, alas, is reserved for swimwear. I have rarely found bikinis of the right cup size outside of these specialized stores and, those rare times, the need arose to sew the braces to the torso cord, since the original model was supposed to be knotted behind the neck. Always returning to the subject of health and posture, concentrating the weight of the breast on the neck bone is definitely harmful and painful, both in the short and long term. Needless to say, I’ve been using the same three pairs of costumes for almost five years.
3. Strapless bras and undergarments low-cut on the back.
Forget them. The impossibility to find a strapless bra capable of supporting a breast size greater than the average without, among other things, tightening your chest, creating that pretty “salami effect” below the armpits (and this applies to any shape and body), will magically make this type of clothing disappear from your wardrobes.
The low-cut on the back will become a distant memory, unless you want to take on the frantic search for a bra to tie around the waist of the right size: it’s far more likely to get to the final episode of The Bold and the Beautiful or hope for a new season of Game of Thrones without deaths. The same goes for swimwear: as much as I’ve always wanted to wear the strapless bikini and, perhaps, tan my shoulders entirely, the final side-effect was always to find my breasts stretched down and weighed down until they hurt me.
Because of what previously stated, even sleeping soundly becomes problematic without the right support. Taking into account how nobody is the same, especially regarding feelings of comfort and ailment, at this point I will be very subjective.
I live 24/7 with a bra on and I don’t know the joy that many have to get rid of it after a long day; for those who carry a weight comparable to two newborn heads, being without a support does not give sensations of comfort, freedom and well-being, as much as heaviness and tension (as well as the paranoia – let me say – of suddenly finding them on the ground to clean the floor). All I do is just change it to another one, older and enlarged by wear, just so as not to feel suffocated by the malefic underwire (the ideal would be, however, a bra without underwire). As strange or incredible as it may seem, the latter is much less annoying to me than the same free breasts that mercilessly pull the skin of the chest.
Three words: boing boing boing. Luckily, sports bras are a thing, not particularly efficient (in my opinion) regarding wearability, but practical and functional.
Not being a great sportswoman and having practiced only swimming in my life, I have never invested much of my time in the targeted search for this magical support; those rare times when I happened to be in a sport store, I have never been able to find the right size, but I would not venture so much to state that it is impossible to find the right one.
Anyway, I still remember some scenes in high school when, during the hours of physical education, I felt amused looks and idiotic jokes when it was my turn to run; returning poisonous glances was a must and automatic tightening my chest against clenched fists.
6. Stretch marks.
The abundant growth of one’s breast, especially when dealing with poorly toned and hydrated skin, can lead to the appearance of the infamous stretch marks, giving you a totally natural brindle epidermal texture. My advice is to take care of them right when they first appear, or when they still have a pinkish tint, with special ointments and hydrating yourself as much as possible.
7. Others’ comments.
Large breasts are noticeable, this is a fact, and they do not go unseen. Comments on your breasts will be on the agenda in social contexts such as schools and groups of various kinds.
Joking comments, dirty comments… Whatever the purpose, whatever the meaning, sooner or later you will find yourself facing the topic and getting stares between amazement and catatonia, a bit as if your interlocutors were conversing with a cyclops.
There was even a period, during adolescence, where I felt almost considered more like a pair of boobs with legs than a real person.
Being philosophical about it is often difficult and self-irony is not always spontaneous.
To conclude, having a big breast, as well as having a small one, must not be considered neither a merit nor an objective defect, since everybody that inhabits this planet is different and unique and all of us are free to love and/or criticize our particularities without feeling advantaged or disadvantaged compared completely different physiques.
Let’s debunk, therefore, clichés that try to elevate women with the “big bowls” on those with the most slender physique or, vice versa, breasts more “at hand” (yes, Fifty Shades of Grey, I am referring to you) that “must be contained in a glass of champagne” to be perfect on those “exaggerated”, “overflowing” and “omg-at-sixty-years-of-age-they-will-fall -to-the ground”.
Size is never THE problem, but how society makes us live this particular aesthetic.
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