“Damned if I do. {Larry mpreg} Book 1” (Let’s go hunt some demons!)

[Review originally published in Italian. English translation made by Trachemys, with the additional revision of JoSeBach.]

fanwriter91, wannabe fantasy writer and dear friend of Evgenij, was coming back home in order to start reviewing a new fanfiction that seemed really hideous.

He didn’t know that, on the horizon, a half broken Ford Fiesta was approaching…

fanwriter91 really couldn’t believe what he had just read, and he started writing the review right away. But, while he was working, he was tormented by wandering thoughts and nightmarish pictures, inspired by the monstrosity that he had just read. 

However his doubts were interrupted by a rumble.

– Oh damn! –

The wall was destroyed as a half wrecked Ford Fiesta broke through, and from the car The Someone came out. 

– Hello everyone! I am The Someone, That Nerd with the Goatee, aka Francesco Gamba, Italian YouTuber and member of the Review Corps! –

In that moment the muffler of the car, bareilly holding itself from falling down, came off falling straight on a passer-by’s head, after he tried saving himself by opening the umbrella to no avail. 

– You again? – exhaled fanwriter91, more tired than anything. 

The presence of The Someone was never a good sign, it really was not.

-Well, yes. Moi. – replied the video-reviewer with the evil goatee. 

– I want to help you a little, since that I’ve just made a video (in Italian) about angels, and this fanfiction talks about them. Somehow. Almost. More or less.-

– I guess that I have to, right? – asked fanwriter91, rubbing his temples. – Well, what to say? Let’s begin! –

https://www.wattpad.com/story/7242492-damned-if-i-do-larry-mpreg-book-1

Quite frankly, I need to say that the original Italian review to this fanfiction, written by LouisTwilinkson, has been written very slowly, because my stomach could not handle more than three chapters at a time. If you wonder why, please read the introduction:

“Heaven is invaded by demons. Only one thing is missing. Gods precious Louis Tomlinson.

Harry Styles, Lucifer’s favorite, stole the most important thing and doesn’t plan to ever give him back.

Harry wanted nothing more but to tear all innocence away from the little angel.

Zayn, Niall, and Liam helps to slowly turn the white angel into a black demon.

What happens when unexpected things take place and when feelings start to get mixed into this tirade?”

Jesus Christ! 

Let’s brace up with some divine patience, because this is a real mess. 

Louis is an angel (sure, his name is a typically angelical one!) and he’s also God’s favorite, with whom he speaks pretty often. 

“He was scolded by god himself when he had voiced how demons didn’t look all that bad..”

So, no chances of redemption, eternal damnation, no hope. Frollo approves!

The Someone:- The biblical canon a little less, since that there is the Angel of Repentance, who brings the truly remorseful fallen back to Heaven.- 

“You aren’t meant to be looking at the pictures in the book Louis. You should be reading the text. You need to learn and become familiar with it” God had told him.”

Reading the book (which one? It is a book, how many do you think there are in Heaven? Maybe Dawkins’ “The God Delusion”?) Louis learns that angels can’t have sex with demons, or else they’ll be damned, as their snow-white dove wings turn into coal-black, like crow ones.

Is this a metaphor for sex without protection?

The Someone: – … I don’t like where this is going.-

“But you see, Louis was also a very special angel. He was the most favored by God himself, and when he figured that he was gay, he went to God crying. He knew it wasn’t normal, but God just smiled down at Louis and gave him a small kiss on the forehead.”

Keep calm, please… so, from here we get that angels have the typical appearance we’re very familiar with… like Angemon or Angewomon, but really less cool. 

Also, it seems that the biblical precept that homosexual acts were a sin is not considered true. I’d say that this is perhaps the only good thing about this fic, and this is not a theological essay anyway.

Still… what does it mean that “It wasn’t normal”? And what even is God? An elder man with a white beard? Is he a Gandalf?

Ok…

mattheus93:-to be fair, God has always been portrayed as an elder man with a white beard!–

Evgenij:- An earnestly ridiculous tradition. Long live iconoclasm!–

But we can already tell there’ll be many sodomitic acts between angels and demons, this is nothing!

We even find out why Louis is gay: because God has given him the gift of reproduction.

I’m at a loss of words here… gay angels can get pregnant?

Am I the only one who finds it a little depraved?

The Someone:- Furthermore, couldn’t God make him a woman? Not that I have anything against homosexuality, absolutely, but at least ONE thing in God’s program sounds redundant…–

Evgenij:-Indeed! How does he conceive the baby? And, more than anything, where does he give birth from? Huh, but we are just unbelievers: God can make a stick devoid of two ends, he can make a bush speak and he can stop earth’s rotation to make the chosen people win over their enemies, right? Allowing Louis to conceive to give the fandom some Larry fanfictions is nothing compared to everything.–

“On November 24th, one month before Louis 18th birthday…”

Is Louis the new Jesus, then?

The Someone:- What is this, a reinterpretation of Jehovah Witnesses’ idea that Jesus is the archangel Michael’s reincarnation? –

Well, I can understand when a character is portrayed as a Messiah. There are various examples in fiction: Toki from Fist of the North Star is basically Jesus, Aslan from the Chronicle of Narnia came to earth in the name of Christ, and so on.

But this just sounds so dumb.

However, all-seeing God, the One who knows everything since the beginning of times, apparently did not predict the demon’s upcoming invasion in heaven.

I can imagine that even his omnipotence wasn’t very useful, probably demons defeated him with logic.

For example, can God create a rock so heavy even he can’t move it? If the answer is “God can do anything possible” then it means that he has to respond to logic.

The Someone:- Or probably it’s just this fanfiction that’s written badly. –

Demons attack and they aren’t there to kill God (seriously?) or the angels, no, they want to do something apparently worse: kidnap Louis!

Wow, God loves him so much that kidnapping him is worse than killing his other children? 

Oooook…

Louis gets ambushed by the demons while he sleeps on his “mattress” (made by clouds, perhaps?) in his house (that’s not a joke), then he gets tied and gagged… you know, these angels that are supposed to be superhuman creatures actually really look like humans with wings, no more. Ah, he gets blindfolded too. I wonder if blindfolds are the weak point of magical creatures with holy powers.

While Louis is kidnapped, his little sister cries and invokes her mother (God where are you?! Use your omnipotence!), but it’s pointless.

And the demons… inject Louis something…

I’ll say it again: what is angelic about these angels?

mattheus93:- Apparently, nothing. I recall some inhuman creatures I created once: they looked like angels (they were winged men) but they weren’t angels, they just inspired humankind to come up with legends about angels.

We’ve just read the ever-present trope of all hideous fics, which is the abduction of the main character, male and female alike. I will take into account the fact that here there is at least a bit of prose and it’s not all sorted out in seven lines.

It follows a short scene where some archangels try to save Louis, but they’re dismissed in one line.

Evgenij:- What do you mean? Did they get killed? –

fanwriter91:- There’s only written that they get disarmed… but what about sending some seraphims? Anything? –

The Someone:- Of course not, otherwise how could we follow the kidnap trope? Logic? What is this? 

I guess that now God will descend in hell a bit pissed and will activate the Old Testament mode, right?

Obviously not, or the story would last three chapters and here angels are used only to give a dirtier tone to the plot.

But dirty is not synonymous with deep!

Harry, out of heaven and back to his headquarters on earth, meets his demon friends Zayn, Niall and Liam. They are the four closest partners of Lucifer, the only ones with the right to call him Lucy.

Ah, I would have expected something like Beelzebub (the way Satan and his second/third in command are usually called) or Astaroth. No, of course Zayn or Liam are far more adequate names.

Oh, wait, I got why Harry is Lucifer’s second in command: because he’s his son.

…

WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Sounds a bit too much! It means that the full name of the devil is Lucifer Styles? 

And who would the wife be? Lilith?

I am not against using demonic or angelic entities in fiction, to me they’re just mythological creatures, but I can imagine how this could hurt someone’s sensitivity.

But here they don’t offer any food for thought! 

It’s just random stuff.

The group then goes to visit daddy, who is sleeping with “a female demon”

Lucy even seems enthusiastic.

“Oh my god Harry, you did it!”

The devil who screams ‘oh my god’ has an unintentional comedic effect.

Come on! You should be his greatest enemy! The rebel! Evil incarnated!

The text then says Lucifer has caramel coloured skin, his eyes have no colour (except for black, but that’s just my guess) and he’s also well-endowed.

Who played Dante’s Inferno can confirm.

Daddy gives his son his permission, Harry can keep the little angel. And what do the others say?

“They had wanted to watch Harry TEAR the innocence from Louis as well.”

The Someone pukes in the bidet.

Since Louis is sleeping peacefully, we can guess the injection… narcotised him…

(Throws the laptop out of the window)

Where was I? Harry has a shower, I guess in Hell they have no problem with hot water, even if I would have found more fitting having a good bath in a river of boiling blood.

“Louis started shaking at the sight of the demon in front of him. He had read about him in those books as a young child. It was Lucifer’s son himself, Harry Styles.”

Evgenij:- What books, for heaven’s sake? –

fanwriter91:- Books are books, they have no name!-

Sorry, I just can’t take this seriously! These scenes are grotesque!

The Someone:- And is this supposed to be scary? How could someone accept Harry Styles as Lucifer’s son? Here, have a list of suitable candidates.

I looked up the meaning of the name Harry and it means “ruler, mighty in homeland”. Or, that’s what Harold means, that comes from the name Heinrich. The family name, on the other hand, means… styles. 

So it all could mean “styles of the ruler”? Mh, it sure sounds promising.

The Someone:- Something like this – 

Louis then realizes he’s got caught in a trap.

This doesn’t make any sense!

God is all-mighty, if he cares about him so much, why doesn’t he go and take him?

And there is nothing to joke on the following scene, as Louis is so scared he hides behind his own wings and Harry rapes him.

“Harry surged forward, taking the screaming angel in his arms and threw him onto the floor. He stripped the angel of his white clothing and left him there, shivering where he lay.

“Please don’t,” Louis begged, looking up at Harry with tears. Harry almost had sympathy for him, but in the end, he didn’t give a shit what happened to the smaller angel.”

Does he give a shit or not? Choose, author!

I will spare you from the details of slaps on the bottom cheeks so hard they leave marks, of fingers inside you-know-where – but with lube –, of sodomy and wounds and the typical porn dialogues.

I wonder how old was the author of this thing when she wrote that. Did she realise that she wasn’t writing a scene of “trasgressive sex” but rather something twisted, sick and atrocious?

Nevermind, phase two is officially completed. Hope/Louis has been raped, in tears and pained screams.

“The halo on the angel’s head cracked into two, and the angel’s glow dimmed a shade darker.

“I’m going to ruin you, my little angel, Lou.”

Evgenij:- Sorry, but the fact he’s been raped made him loose part of his “grace” or something? But this is serious, it’s like he’s being punished for being raped!

We skip forward to some days later, with the mention of the little angel’s failed attempt to escape. In the meantime, I keep asking myself where God is.

Send your commander! Send the archangel Gabriel! Send a few seraphims! 

Send Seraphimon!

“Throwing the angel onto the bed, Harry leaned against one of the bedposts. Harry didn’t like his angel in clothes, but he normally sat back and let him wear his shirts as a dress. Niall had lost interest with the angel and Liam decided he wasn’t horny anymore. It was more or less up to himself and Zayn.”

Because I respect you as readers, I won’t tell you about the double punishment with double penetration.

They even tell us that Louis is shaking so hard he looks just like a stain.

Aaaaw, don’t you think that kindapping a boy, beating him untill he screams and cries, and raping him is very romantic?

mattheus93:- Ok, the fic sucks, but the ones who kidnapped him are demons, can we say that they are acting according to their demonic nature? –

Evgenij:- I have to agree, for now the bad guys, even with those ridiculous names, are acting coherently. When will their redemption arc start?

“He was limp in the demon’s hands and Harry almost wanted to call the rest of the punishment off.”

If you are sorry, why do you keep torturing him?!

Evgenij:- Classic, demon Harry has already started to repent… what is going to happen next? –

“The angel seemed to find comfort in him, and he would be sure to give him at least a little bit.”

Evgenij:- Of course, Hope/Louis is starting to find comfort in his rapist.–

So… Louis has developed a Stockholm Syndrome but he is still in pain and misery…

We got it, the author has mixed everything badly.

Wow, never seen that before!

Let’s jump the part where they torture him with a spoon and…

“Grab some lube. There isn’t any way to go dry in this with two.”

Sorry, here I have to pause because my reflux problems slow me down.

Ok… I feel better now…

“Harry lubed his whole hand up and poured more onto the crack of the angels before sticking three fingers in, quickly spreading and moving them around. He slowly slipped in a fourth…

“Kiss me,” the demon told the angel and was more than happy when the angel complied. 

(…)

Louis was ashamed he liked how the demon tasted and how he was such a good kisser.”

Perfect, now the victim is head over heels in love with his rapist!

Phase 3 completed! And we’re just at the third chapter! (Help…)

But Harry is confused and worried: why is Louis changing so much?

“Something was muddling it, and Harry couldn’t think of any reason why.” 

IT’S FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY THAT YOU’RE TELLING US THAT WHEN AN ANGEL AND A DEMON HAVE SEX THE FIRST LOSES HIS GRACE AND IT’S FROM THE BEGINNING THAT YOU’RE TELLING US THAT HARRY WANTS TO STEAL THE GRACE OF THE ANGEL!

Evgenij:- Indeed, wasn’t this exactly what demon Harry with an iron dick wanted from the start?-

The Someone:- This story not only is a complete idiocy, but the author is so into writing rape scenes that she forgets THE RULES THAT SHE HERSELF WROTE and that have been repeated every five lines! –

Then Harry decides to speak about it with daddy or with God himself.

I hope God takes you and forces you to endure the worst tortures imaginable. You don’t deserve anything else, you bastard.

“It was a month later when Louis started to get sick.”

A month.

A month, fuck! Almighty God didn’t do anything for a whole month!

Evgenij:- From a look at our history, let’s say that God, if he is real, doesn’t interfere. Or maybe this is the cross that he prepared for Louis: is he or isn’t he the new messiah?-

This is the problem of all stories with super-powerful characters: how do you write the story if a character is too strong to have any problem?

There’s who can handle the situation smartly, and who doesn’t give a shit. The author of this atrocity belongs to the second group.

The Someone:- An example: Superman, if he wanted, could solve all the world’s problems. He’s strong enough to stop all wars by force, and he’s intelligent enough to cure all illnesses. He doesn’t do it because instead of FORCING humanity to be how he wants it, he chooses to HELP everyone and INSPIRE us to do better, because he believes that in everyone of us there is good that could lead us to be better when he’s not going to be with us anymore. It’s because of this that he doesn’t kill, unless he’s facing monsters that are 100% incapable of redemption: killing wouldn’t only be illegal, but it would mean to step on his believes, that is the fact that everyone deserves the chance to show they’re good deep down. –

mattheus93:- But we’re not considering the Injustice saga, where Superman… –

The Someone (turning his head like ‘The Exorcist’ to look at mattheus93):- Do not say its name, it’s not canonical, it’s written badly just to please batman fans who hate superman: I’ll carve your face with a spoon!-

At this point, we find out that Louis has abdominal pains and pukes every morning (how do we know when’s day and night in Hell and in Heaven? It isn’t explained.) and Harry takes him to the doctor.

Why those faces? Don’t you know it? In every hell there’s at least one graduated doctor specialised in every medical field…

What the hell am I reading? They’re souls, right? What does the doctor do? A purification rite? 

But I should even ask myself how could a soul puke…

Okay let’s say that the angels in this context are physical entities, and demons are as well. Don’t they have, like, powers?

Doesn’t seem like it.

The Someone:- It’s clear now. In this fic he characters are angels just to make the story sound sinful and transgressive. We all know that’s the only thing that counts. –

The doctor is named Rick, even if I would have rather had Kel’Thuzad from Warcraft, and he checks if Louis has a fever, then checks his tonsils and lymph nodes.

Evgenij:- Woah, this Rick sounds like an expert in medicine without God! It makes sense, he’s a demonic doctor, so… –

The Someone:- Maybe he’s THIS Rick; it would make sense, if there’s someone who could do an ultrasound on a supernatural entity it’s him. –

We find out that not only they have toilets, but they even have WCs to flush (in some infernal circle maybe?), and even machines to check the patients’ wellbeing.

“The sex was no longer rape for the tiny angel, and he actually enjoyed it. Only with Harry though, as Zayn was malicious and rough.”

I’m not kidding, that’s what happens! He got attached to his rapist! And the time jumps make us skip every potential character arc about it!

Sorry, I need that WC as well now…

Doctor Rick checks Louis’ abdomen, he takes the “ultrasound machine” and pours some blue gel on him, finding out that Louis Tomlinson (yes, he even has his surname) is pregnant and has a uterus. The doctor explains that there is this old belief that the favourite angel of God was able to conceive, but the last time they tried it hadn’t worked.

Now now, I have just a few questions.

1) How do they know he’s God’s favourite? It’s the reason why they kindapped him, right, but how do they know? Does God post the pictures on Godbook with the caption “Lol, my favourite was born! #PrayForLouis”?

2) How come that Satan’s son didn’t know about this?

3) Why didn’t the last time work? And which time was ‘last time’? Is it a Jesus reference?

But even considering the possibility of it to happen, I can imagine that the first question everyone would ask themselves would be: ok, but where does the baby come out of?

Evgenij:- Great question. Everyone is wondering that. –

God has given Louis an uterus and, I guess, even some XX chromosomes, okay, but where does the baby physically come out of?

And, for heaven’s sake, where did the sperm go to get to the uterus? Is it linked to his anus?

I ask myself even more questions: does Louis menstruate, then?

Okay, okay, let’s just forget science and keep going…

Evgenij:- We’re talking about God: he can do as he wishes –

Louis, once finding out about it, is shocked: God hadn’t told him anything.

Evgenij:- But… wasn’t he his favourite child? –

Our little angel starts screaming and throwing stuff around the room (using reported speech just to involve us more in the action, I guess), and Harry is upset: he doesn’t know if the child is his or Zayn’s.

“When they went back home, Louis was nervous.

“What the hell is your problem?” asked Harry”

Let me think…

1) You kidnapped him

2) You raped him

3) You had him get raped 

4) You got him pregnant

And you ask him what the hell is his problem? ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT?

The Someone:- As Daniele Luttazzi (an Italian comedian) used to say, asshole or idiot? I’d say: (Asshole+Idiot)/2 –

“You can’t be mad at me for this” Harry told him”

Dear readers, yes, you got it: Harry sees himself as the victim, and Louis is not mad because he has been kidnapped and raped but because he found himself pregnant.

“This whole thing was so stupid. How could Louis be mad at him? How was he supposed to know? It’s not like he was old enough to know anything from thousands of years ago.”

(The laptop flies out of the window for the umpteenth time.)

What was I saying? 

Dear Harry, do you know that there is a subject called “history” that exists to know events from the past? Then there’s also this one thing called “sex education”, didn’t daddy tell you to be careful with God’s favourite angel? To have at least protected sex? Before an anal penetration wouldn’t it be safer to use at least a condom?

Evgenij:- And don’t forget something important: they have already forgotten the rapes, like they were nothing. Not to mention the mythological setting that has literally no purpose. –

“You’re holding my child, Louis, let me touch you.”

YOU RAPED HIM MAKING HIM SCREAM AND CRY OUT OF PAIN AND FEAR!

I’ll remind you of what happened just a few chapters earlier:

“Please don’t,” Louis begged, looking up at Harry with tears. Harry almost had sympathy for him, but in the end, he didn’t give a shit what happened to the smaller angel.”

(…)

“I’m going to ruin you, my little angel, Lou”

Let’s go on…

“Don’t say that. It’s not Zayn’s” Harry stated firmly, gripping Louis’ upper arm tightly. The angel looked at the demon’s hand then at his eyes.

“I hope it is,” he replied lowly. That’s when Harry blew his gasket. He threw the tiny angel onto the bed, and grabbed his phone. He texted Niall, Liam and Zayn and told them he needed help punishing his angel. They all replied the same: they would be there in a jiffy.”

A demonic phone. I’m imagining a handset in the form of a demonic horn.

Harry takes some ties and uses them to tie Louis up…

“(I’m) showing you what it’s like to be the whore you say you are. You don’t know the father of the baby, so you’re a whore.” Harry told him, looking over his shoulder at the door when it opened. Liam, Niall and Zayn walked into the room with smirks on their faces. Oh, this was going to be fun.”

FUN?!

I know I often say those things, but it’s because it always brings up this misogyny… or well, here the term “whore” is said to a male, whose only fault is… no he hasn’t any. He’s been kidnapped and raped. Harry is validating who raped him and saying it’s the victim’s fault!

I once again ask myself where is God: if he loves his little angel so much, why doesn’t he save him? Why doesn’t he do anything?

mattheus93:- Mystery of the faith… –

Evgenij:- I think that not even the Almighty God could stop fanfic porn.–

Harry turns the stereo on and it plays a song by the Bullet for My Valentine (a real British group that exists in real life).

In the meantime Louis screams out in pain for the rape.

Evgenij:- Let me get this straight (no pun intended), is he really turning the music up not to let others hear? In hell, where there are tortures at every corner?! Come on, that’s so stupid.

fanwriter91: – Actually he turns it on because… well, it isn’t explained.

It appears that this hell has everything you could need, doctor Gero’s and doctor Myu’s cameo where they’re building another C17 to fuse it with the older one to beat Goku.

“Niall walked around the bed and climbed on so he could shove his cock into Louis wide mouth, cutting off his now silent screams.”

This crap is one of the worst atrocities I’ve ever read on Wattpad, in Italian and in English both.

Bite him Louis, bite him! You became a badass, you’ve been contaminated by demonic power (it happened when they raped him the first time and his halo cracked), right? 

Bite him!

Nothing.

Harry lies in bed, keeping his father company. 

Evgenij: – I can picture it, Lucifer who tries to have a good father/son relationship. Well, things aren’t going smoothly with Harry’s grandad. –

“What’s the matter, Harry?” Asked the demon. Harry turned his head to look at him and sighed again. 

“The doctor said that Louis was pregnant. The child could either be mine or Zayn’s. Louis said he doesn’t want the child to be mine, but I think he’s only saying that because he’s mad at me” The young demon shot out. Lucy didn’t mind the attitude in his voice like he normally would.”

Harry is frustrated and pissed because the baby might not be his. 

Holy hell! If he cares about Louis, why did he let his friends rape him? And how could he behave like that while a person he loved was being raped?

mattheus93: – Because he’s a demon and he’s following his nature, perhaps? –

Evgenij: – Yeah, but he’s contradicting said nature affirming he cares about Louis and that he wants to be the child’s father.

“You know your cum can stay dormant inside that boy for days on end. It could have stayed silent until Zayn’s was added to the mix. I’m sure you even had Niall and Liam use the angel. Though they are weaker I doubt their cum would stand a chance against yours and Zayn’s.”

From this comment I get that the author’s knowledge about this kind of things, besides a quick read on Wikipedia, comes from “Micro Patrol” where you could see white blood cells and bacteria fist fight to assert dominance. Or maybe not, I have vague memories of that cartoon, if she had watched it carefully she wouldn’t have written this nonsense.

She made a big mess: these angels mix supernatural elements (flying, mpreg, stronger and weaker sperm) with human elements (going to the doctor, eating, drinking, etc) with the only result of making the reader more confused and disgusted.

“This is so fucked up,” Harry mumbled, wrapping his arm around Lucy’s chest.

“Nap with me. You seem tired” Lucifer told Harry, grabbing the edge of the blanket that was pulled back and tugged it over them. “All is going to be fine” He finally added.”

What bullshit is this?! She’s still portraying the rapist and kidnapper as the victim! They are pampering him and they’re trying to show him like a kicked puppy while in another room Louis is being raped!

And look at how affectionate Lucifer is!

After four hours Harry wakes up, yawns, and half asleep he checks on the rape, finding…

“The small angel looked pathetic. His wings were stained yellow and his hair was wet and matted. He was covered in piss, and cum was seeping out of his bum into the puddle of piss at the bottom of the tub.”

Hideous. One of the rapist’s goals is to destroy the victim in every sense of the word. Not only it is horrible that this is validated (or glorified) but the act is even performed by the author’s idols! What did these horny girls even think when they wrote shit like this?! What would it take for them to write their idols falling in love and having consensual sex? Isn’t it hot enough?

The Someone: – No, or how would it be transgressive? –

Harry orders the others to go away and tells Louis to clean up, but he doesn’t want to be alone. 

“You may have let them (rape him and abuse him), but you didn’t let them continue, nor were you here”

…

…

So?

No, fr, what is it supposed to mean?

He invited them to do it, he didn’t just “let them”. And after they raped him for four hours he told them to go away from his bathroom. This is no good!

I can’t blame Louis though: he’s so shattered that he sees Harry as the only one who can end (or start) all the abuses. I guess this can be some sort of Stockholm’s Syndrome, but it’s not romantic at all. 

“You are only mine from now on.”

(…)

“Understood,” the angel whispered and pulled Harry down to connect their lips.”

I’m sorry, I have to look at how many visuals there are in this… this…

The Someone: – A like abhorrence, B like blasphemy, C like cretin, D like disgusting, E like… –

500.000 at this very moment. I am almost crying looking at this bullshit with so many visuals while decent people have so much less.

“Mine”

(…)

“Yours,” he whispered in reply.”

Note that Louis is Harry’s property, but never the opposite.

Three weeks later, Zayn finds out Louis is pregnant. In the meantime, everything calmed down a bit. Louis is well integrated and is happily eating ice cream with hot sauce on top, God hasn’t even called once.

Makes sense.

Between Louis and Zayn happens a short fight about food, Louis gets all grumpy and goes to have a shower.

Classic rape victim behaviour!

Right after that, Harry tells us about Louis’ last actions.

“For instance, yesterday, the little fucker went into the kitchen and made a mess of it. We had started to fight before, and when the cook started chasing after him with a pan, he came to me! He kept telling me that he loved me and that he didn’t want to die.”

Haha, so funny, sitcom gags in a story about rape! Hahaha!/s

But a word of caution to this tale, should Hercules fight, you will… wrong fandom, sorry.

So, Beelzebub wants to keep the baby for himself.

“That baby right there in your stomach is going to be the most famous thing in Hell when people figure out that you’re pregnant, and it’s a demon’s child.”

Harry said that this is going to be the first angel/demon hybrid. I highly doubt it, no demon, male or female, has ever kidnapped an opposite sex angel to rape them?

Evgenij: – All the mythological background here doesn’t make any sense. –

After this, between them everything gets ‘lovey dovey’.

“So he inserted two more (fingers) immediately, not giving Louis any time to adjust, and literally drilled all of them into him at a harsh, rapid pace.”

Lucy tells his son the reason why his brother Beelzebub…

Okay, stop, quick explanation about how Satan/Lucifer/Beelzebub are often considered the same being. Your turn, Francesco.

The Someone: – Lucifer, carrier of light, Halel for the Jews, Mephistopheles. Satan, NOT the Devil, name that was given to him at a later moment. Beelzebub, pagan deity demonized by the Jews after the fall of the Cult of Baal. –

“Well, Beelzebub has a long story behind why he would want the baby. More of a prophecy than anything, if you will. I’m not going to go into detail about any of this, it’s none of your business, but a hybrid of an angel and a demon is going to be the thing that kills him.”

What was I saying? Oh, yeah… WHY?!

I know, I asked many times the reason behind all this, but if there is a prophecy that says Beelzebub can only be killed by an angel/demon hybrid, why aren’t there any laws that forbid those acts? We could say that Lucifer doesn’t care about him, that’s fair, but he’s still an important dude! And Beelzebub is Harry’s uncle, didn’t he tell him to be careful?

Of course not, that would mean using his brain, and in this story males know only how to use their cock.

Meanwhile God… does nothing. 

Lucifer goes to visit Louis and… I didn’t get it. It seems that Lucy has injured Louis (not really, but I didn’t understand a thing), Harry takes him to the doctor… who finds out he’s pregnant with triplets.

Evgenij:- We still don’t know where they’re gonna get out of… this reminds me of the episode of Family Guy with Brian getting Stewie pregnant.

“I had a few demons go to earth and talk to a few angels. We had then tell God that Louis here was pregnant and God was shocked, to be honest. There was an outrage and our demons were almost killed. We had to bring one of our princes to talk to an archangel about it and we received a few pill bottles. The pills were checked and there is nothing wrong with them. They are prenatal pills that female angels take.”

This is beyond abhorrent. In other fanfics the parents do not get to know that their children are being kidnapped and raped. Here God has found out that his beloved son has been kidnapped and raped and… he’s sending some meds. 

Let’s try to imagine a normal context and let’s put a girl in Louis’ place. Imagine a normal dad in his home with his children, then someone gets in his house, beats him and kidnaps his daughter. 

A normal person, at least one with some brains, would be shocked thinking about what could be done to her, they would alert everyone everywhere, spend sleepless nights, this would be a sensible reaction. 

Here what does God do? Goes apeshit and gives them some pills.

This is offensive and blasphemous! I’m saying that as an atheist! And in the name of the love I feel for my father, I ask myself how the author and anyone who appreciated this could consider God a loving father here.

And it’s not like they want to put God in a bad light or make him look like the villain!

Let’s add another mistake to the list: the story says that a prince of hell talked to an archangel. 

Well, “prince” should be the second highest rank in hell after the one in charge, while the archangel is only the eighth of the nine angelic choirs! It’s just a fancy name, but the author didn’t do any research on it!

Moreover… isn’t there any hostility between angels and demons? Didn’t God send his army?

Maybe this is all part of his plan, he’s waiting for the heir’s birth and he sacrificed his son Louis to defeat the devil?

If written differently it could be an interesting plot point, but this is just a bad fic.

Ah, I’ll say it again: god is ALMIGHTY. He could snap his fingers and he would kill the devil if he cared enough, period.

Just to confirm the misery of this fic, Harry and Louis haven’t done anything together but sex. Nothing to strengthen the relationship.

Sex IS PART of (some) relationships, but it’s not the whole of it!

After the umpteenth sexual intercourse, Louis is bleeding again.

He’s pregnant with triplets! He has an internal wound! He should be treated with care! 

But no, here they just have sex!

“Well, not to be weird, but you have a large cock, Harry, and it stretched the scratch out.”

Thanks for informing us about the length of his penis… but hasn’t Harry received any sex education, just to avoid STDs?

Louis, during the doctor’s appointment, confesses that the injury must have been done by that strange man that has come in just earlier. I guess it could be Lucifer, but the author didn’t describe him.

The doctor decides to put four stitches on Louis’ anus, without anesthesia (or he could “shit himself”) and he ends up in pain for something like five minutes.

Wow, so strong!

Well I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s an angel, not a normal human. It’s a shame that we haven’t seen him being anything even remotely angelic like, ever.

Doctor Rick makes him have an ultrasound, showing them the three future babies.

“Yeah, three little babies,” Harry said. Louis looked at him before breaking into a huge wet smile, lifting his hands for a hug.”

THIS IS NOT TENDER NOR SWEET.

This is not a tender love story, it’s a rape apology, a kidnap apology, a story of abuse and Stockholm Syndrome.

I hope I don’t sound like a bigot if I say that this is very offensive towards religious people (I am, again, an atheist and even in my stories angels have some original roles), but here characters like God or the angels aren’t portrayed differently for the sake of critical thinking, or for the sake of telling interesting and challenging stories, it’s just an excuse to make Louis pregnant!

The pregnancy goes on, with the rape victim now all happy and contented.

“Zayn started coming more around as well. He was a dick about things, but he didn’t do anything to hurt Louis”

Except for when he raped him and kidnapped him! And maybe even piss on him while he was crying in desperation!

Dear author… dear fans of this… I really hope you NEVER experience even a fraction of what Louis should be feeling in this circumstance.

I hope you’ll NEVER experience the excruciating pain of being raped.

I hope you NEVER experience the terror and the shame of a victim, who sometimes even kills themself.

I hope you NEVER get kidnapped from your family just to please the erotic fantasies of a monster. 

I say this because you DO NOT deserve any of this.

But I hope you’ll grow up, become more mature and feel ashamed to have written and/or to have appreciated this.

I won’t go into details about the fact that now Louis has sensitive nipples and gets aroused by wearing a t-shirt, and I won’t go into details about Harry touching said nipples. 

Evgenij: – Shouldn’t he like, breastfeed the newborns from those nipples? Aren’t male nipples and breasts too small for…? So much bullshit…

Harry tells us that Lucifer has met archangel Michael. Oh, let’s see, maybe God will do something and… nope, God himself said he doesn’t know what to do with this whole triplets thing, if not sending more pills. Rather, according to his own words, “he can’t” do anything else.

The next day Zayn comes, he must have met the postman, always on time in Hell, but God has changed his mind and instead of the pills he sent some needles filled with a blue liquid. 

I’d like to know what’s in them, perhaps something for Louis’ abortion?

Harry even says that he has never seen Louis having a shot… 

“He didn’t know how the angel took to needles yet; he has yet to see the angel get a shot.”

Wait a moment, let’s go back to chapter 1… 

“Inject him” said a gruff voice (Harry’s)”

Oh well, maybe he didn’t see it because he was busy keeping Louis very still…

“Is it going to hurt?” he (Louis) asked.”

That’s insane! He’s been raped until he was broken to tears and now he’s concerned for a little sting.

Oh, finally something remotely intelligent! The blue liquid was a potion to make Louis an angel again! God, do something!

“God sent a potion that will heal angels completely and in the end it makes them high as a kite.”

Did the author try to make this drug thing sound funny? It-is-not!

Wait a minute… that wasn’t a joke, Louis is really high, that was “angel drug”.

So God drugged his son. Okay, delete this fic for blasphemy! It’s an atheist asking for it!

And for the rape apologies, obviously.

Now Harry is terrified.

“If he’s completely healed, isn’t he a virgin again? Wouldn’t I have to rip his innocence again? Harry asked, looking pale and panicked.”

Panicked. Panicked because he has to have sex with someone he raped and now he’s saying he loves?

It wouldn’t hurt to have an ounce of logic, but okay.

Now I’d imagine God would at least start a rescue mission, but I fear it won’t happen. Shooting the potion we go back to the starting point, the situation is not getting better.

Lucifer clears things out: this is Hell (with mobile phones, stereo systems, and an efficient public healthcare), Harry has to stop with his feelings for Louis!

FEELINGS?!?!?!?!

He raped him! And more!

Some other useless lovey dovey stuff.

In the following days they tell us again that the babies are growing in Louis’ stomach, and they are not suffering from the drugs their father is taking. Perhaps some of their superhuman powers are protecting them.

“The demon had told him, now that they were going to know the genders they could think about names and buy them cribs and clothes because they would know what colour to get.” 

‘Course, we’re in Hell, there are supermarkets with diapers and soft pink beanies for baby girls! For fuck’s sake!

Evgenij:- Maybe it’s a special Circle of Hell. Speaking of which, is it me or we haven’t seen a single damned soul? –

And I’m not even focusing on the fact that it’s not mandatory to buy blue stuff for the boys and pink for the girls!

Ah, correction: they’re going to buy these things on earth. I’m asking myself where this Hell is supposed to be and how it is because we still don’t know. And we’re at chapter eleven, there are eighteen chapters plus the epilogue!

The doctor tells us that the triplets are three boys, then more lovey dovey. Harry is ready to take care of them even if he’s not sure they’re his. Harry goes to Lucifer, interrupting Zayn from chatting on Twitter.

“He asked, closing his laptop, realizing that this conversation with his friend was more important than Twitter.”

Twitter is the social media of Hell!

From the dialogue we can guess that the innocence is something magical for angels, that could be ripped or given, and it’s always painful…well, I can’t say I’m surprised.

Evgenij:- I’ll say it now: this fic is making me reconsider Supernatural. I could even get back to watching some episodes. –

Zayn, his laptop again on his knees, suggests his friend to talk about it with his love, who in the meantime is choosing to buy some articles on the internet… I guess in Hell WiFi is super fast.

The two find an agreement on the names: the babies will have an archangel first name (Gabriel, Michael and Saraqael) and a prince of hell second name (Astaroth, Asmodeus and Verrine) even if I think Astaroth is a grand duke, but I guess he upgraded.

The Someone: – Let me get this straight. They’re giving children BORN AS A RESULT OF RAPE the names of the archangel of Christ’s birth, the archangel who casted the devil into Hell, and the protector of the babies and the recruiter of guardian angels? If this is what the author believes is irony, IT’S NOT FUNNY! And names in the supernatural world have a deep meaning and power; angels’ and demons’ names should be unique!

Evgenij:- True. In the myth, Faust ordered Mephistopheles to tell him his name to get to know his essence.-

fanwriter91: – Like the True Name in Christopher Paolini’s books.-

Evgenij:- Yeah, mister Paolini has drawn from a variety of sources.-

“This is perfect,” (the names) he told him.

“You’re perfect.”

Ok, I’m sick now.

The pregnancy goes on: Louis is getting thinner because the children are taking all the nutrients.

mattheus93:- Hey, just like Bella Swan in Twilight!-

“It wasn’t that Zayn didn’t like Louis, but he didn’t like Louis all that much for taking all his best friend’s attention”

Let’s forget again that he raped him and pissed on him! No, Zayn is clearly the victim!/s

Then it seems that Zayn even secures the triplets…

“One of the babies moved in Louis’ stomach, completely flipping over and making his stomach contort painfully. Louis whimpered and his bottom lip trembled. Harry’s heart broke from the small noises the angel made while in pain.” 

But oooh, Harry is shocked because Louis is in pain! He didn’t look so shocked when he literally raped Louis!

I’d like to point out something: nothing happened between them that makes the reader feel like Harry should be shocked.

The demon here hasn’t done anything besides raping the angel and getting a little upset because they pissed on him.

Yeah, there was the pregnancy, but it’s not like rapists become sweet fathers and caring lovers after they get their victim pregnant!

And Louis accepted this pregnancy without making a fuss. Because… he developed Stockholm Syndrome? It could be, but it seems he really is in love, and he didn’t think to run away even when he was unsupervised. I hope no one will feel offended by this, but pregnancy is a very dangerous process and not everyone is willing to complete it, let alone if it’s caused by sexual abuse!

Here though nothing makes sense!

Since Louis still doesn’t feel well they go see the doctor again, who… checks inside him…

“Spread your legs as wide as you can get them,” the doctor instructed, putting lubed hands between the angel’s legs.

Louis gasped in pain and reached for Harry’s hand as the doctor shoved past his knuckles, trying to reach something really deep in the small angel.”

I guess in Hell a baby check is like a prostate check.

After agreeing on having some baths to soothe the babies, the sweet couple comes back home…

The bedroom that all five boys stayed in had changed a lot since Louis was first brought here. There were three baby cribs lined up against the wall next to the bed.”

I’ll spare you the details about cribs, baby bottles and everything.

Let’s summarise the story so far: Louis is a gay angel and therefore he can get pregnant; the demon Harry kidnaps him, rapes him, gets him raped and humiliated by his pals over and over again destroying Louis’ mental state; after a while Louis grows to like him (for some unknown reason) and he falls in love with his first rapist because he finally told the others not to rape him anymore; God doesn’t do anything and only gets interested after months even if he could save him with the snap of his fingers, then changes his mind and sends a drug to make his beloved son feel better, beloved son who, don’t forget, shares the birthday with Jesus.

No, wait, God is now involved! He’s worried about his brutally raped son, so he asks for a meeting with him and his rapist.

“I can’t do that. Do you know how easy it would be for them to just take him from me?” He [Harry] argued.”

…

WHY HAVEN’T THEY TAKEN HIM FROM YOU ALREADY?! If the demons invaded Heaven, why can’t God invade Hell?!

In the end Harry surrenders: it could be important for his dear love’s life.

God has even offered an agreement: he gives them archangel Michael (the dude who kicked out Lucifer some time ago) and in exchange Harry and Louis will go to Heaven, they could even live there if they wanted.

What does it mean that God will give them the archangel Michael? Would Lucifer be able to torture him as he pleases?

(Throwing my laptop out of the window again)

But there’s something else to consider:

“Beelzebub wants your children, dead or alive. Beelzebub cannot go into Heaven; no prince can.”

Uhm… why can’t they? And if Harry is the son of a prince like Lucifer (as it has been said many times) why can he? If no prince can, how could they get past Heaven’s doors?

Because this story does not exist. It’s born mixing an acid trip with a joint or two.

The morning after Louis is all hyped up, he really can’t wait to make Harry meet his loved ones.

I can already imagine the scene:

“Hi mum, this is Harry, the one that kidnapped me and raped me!”

Maybe they’ll meet Lucifer as well, who now approves their relationship.

The narration offers us a quick meeting with Louis’ parents and relatives, told in indirect dialogue to speed things up.

“Louis was whisked away and Harry was left there standing with everybody. The angel’s family didn’t seem to like that he was there and quickly left him to go fawn over Louis some more. Friends asked him many questions on how Louis was, to which Harry responded with the truth., telling them what they had done to the angel. He had apologized many times over and over again knowing that what he did was wrong and it took many hours before the friends gave him the benefit of the doubt.”

Do I really have to comment this snippet?

Ok, Imma do it.

Let’s take a breath and…

GODDAMN SARGERAS!!!

Seriously, what goes through these horny girls’ minds?!

This is… so much worse! In the other fics they didn’t tell the relatives about the rape parts, here they gave Harry the benefit of the doubt after he raped Louis and made his friends rape him numerous times! 

They’re crazy. 

Crazy. 

And they should be punched as well: why didn’t they do anything?

Maybe not all of them are warriors, but what about asking God to send his army? What about trying to save their friend?

No, huh?

And do you know why every trace of logic has gone to shit?

Do you know why these loyal friends and relatives have disappeared?

Do you know why God is represented like a fool?

To write lemon scenes! Another insult to our intelligence, and an insult to every Christian, and I’ll repeat it again and again and again! And I’m an atheist!

And to remind us that God is just an idiot…

“I am not happy of you taking Louis’ innocence, but I am glad you haven’t hurt him. He seems happy to be around you and that gives me a good heart toward you.”

I am starting to feel real sick… didn’t Louis tell him that he was raped?!

God adds that Harry, despite being a demon, can become an angel!

The news shocks the curly-haired son of the devil, but he’s ready to do it!

Evgenij:- Here we go, divine redemption. I have to get drunk.-

There’s a cameo of archangel Gabriel who congratulates them for the babies.

But here goes the plot twist!

Perhaps one of the children is not Harry’s, because a baby has his mother’s genes!

Wait a moment, what mother?

I… don’t know, let’s end this quickly! How much is left?

Still many chapters, help me…

Heaven’s doctor encourages Louis to eat more meat and vegetables… I can guess In Heaven there are fields and farms, of course… and tells him that he could dream of himself having sex with his soulmate or he could dream of his partner having sex with an ex…

(The laptop flies again out of the window.) 

The Someone walked out to get it back and stepped on the half dead Passerby. 

– You have to finish the rev…-

The nerd got back in, but fanwriter91 hit him with his dragon tooth +5 and the Someone saw the words “you’re dead”.

He took ten seconds to respawn, and when he got back in he had time to raise his shield.

-You have to finish the review!- he said.

-Never! This story is too stupid even for stupid standards!- fanwriter91 growled.

The someone did a backflip to dodge the hit and slowed his partner with some darts.

-But if you don’t finish it what would be of Demons of EFP?-

fanwriter91 didn’t listen and attacked him, but the Someone dodged him easily, so fanwriter91 crashed the usual wall (built back up with a shaky plot hole) and fell into the void.

Fortunately for him he fell on the Passerby, who was just starting to feel better.

– Ouch… – the reviewer commented. – Ok, I’m good… for now! –

Let’s get going…

The following chapter starts with Louis’ lucid dream, where he dreams of… Zayn. And Zayn, even if he’s a product of Louis’ mind, seems really upset about appearing in said dream.

“He wished it had been Harry that walked through the door instead of himself.

(…)

“N-no, it can’t be! It just can’t be!” Louis kept exclaiming, sobs racking throughout his small body. “I- Harry and I, we…”

“I know, love, I know,” Zayn cut him off with a sad glance, “I didn’t want this to be, either… but there are things that we can’t control, Lou.”

What the hell (pun intended) is happening?

I’ll try to clarify: since Louis is pregnant, as the doctor said, he’s lucid dreaming, but if he loses himself, he won’t be able to wake up.

The yaoi scene is interrupted by Louis waking up, and many cuddles between him and Harry follow.

But the dream traumatised Louis, who can’t talk to Harry anymore.

“Why wasn’t he talking to him? What had he done wrong?”

Many things, you imbecile!

After a while, Harry gets pissed.

“Louis, if you love me you’ll turn around and tell me. Tell me you love me, say my name, or I’m going back to hell.”

Ok, Harry’s behavior here is not great, but we can get how, in this twisted context, he’s hurt by Louis’ silence.

What will Louis do? Is he going to say the truth?

“Fuck you,” Louis said turning around again”

And their relationship just… ends like that?

If you’re lost, I’ll explain: Louis dreamt of Zayn when he was supposed to dream of his soulmate. Harry forced him to give an explanation and Louis decided to cut the relationship off.

And that’s what happened! The relationship ended! After everything they’ve done, every promise, is it just going to end like that?

Well, it would be an appropriate ending for this mess.

I can’t wait for Armageddon.

“Louis screamed and cried there on the floor, he held his stomach as he screamed Harrys name. He screamed that he loved him until his voice broke and he couldn’t scream anymore.”

From a plot hole the angel Saraqael appears and, after being touched by Louis’ sadness, he helps him lie on the bed and promises him he’ll bring Harry back. Harry who in the meantime is back to hell where everybody is “pissed at him to be honest” because he came back without Louis. 

The Someone: – Let’s clarify again. Saraqael is important in heaven, but he even is someone famous for seducing human women, or trying to, depending on the version. Just saying. –

And now everyone is asking themselves the legendary question, even more important than “why do we exist?”

“Louis loved Harry, right?”

(The laptop flies again out of the window.)

Lucifer is mad at his son, and thanks to his powers he shows him Louis’ condition, he’s malnourished, anorexic and depressed. Even Saraqael is vanishing.

Like, what??? What’s happening??

Who cares, will Harry and Louis get back together?

Then a super quick snippet where is said that Zayn and Harry have talked about the dream, and they even fist fought… so, did Zayn get into Louis’ dream with his demonic powers? Did they have the same dream? Is Zayn in love with Louis as well?

We won’t have any answers, I’m sorry.

Ah, let’s not forget that Harry goes through some stages, that can be summarized in:

He finds out that Louis has oneirically cheated on him with Zayn 

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Fist fight against Zayn

4. Making up with him

5. Depression

6. Acceptance

All this in literally fifteen (written 15) minutes.

Harry gets back to heaven where he argues with the guardian angels. Of course, he ‘argues’. I imagine the relationship between angels and demons has just improved now that Harry raped Louis.

But here God comes, and explains to the angels Harry’s good intentions.

He goes to Louis’ room and finds out he’s not there because they don’t have anything necessary to help him, he’s at the hospital in bad conditions. 

God is so useless in this, holy cow…

Harry finds his love, useless snippets occur and then one month’s time skip. Louis feels better now.

The pregnancy continues and Louis delivers, with cesarean delivery. Harry is there to watch. 

The delivery goes well, if not for… 

“The heart monitor next to Louis’ head flat lined.”

… Louis dies.

An angel just died in heaven.

Uhm, seriously though, where does his soul go, then? Shouldn’t heaven be the place where the dead go?

I doubt that God is going to revive him, it’s not like he can do that!/s

Harry goes batshit (and here I have to say sorry, they believe that even the last of the triplets, still in Louis’ stomach, is dead), but he’s stopped and taken away by five archangels… ok.

Said archangels “would NEVER put the death of a loved one on anyone.”

Well, actually it IS Harry’s and the demons’ fault. If Harry hadn’t raped Louis and had his friends rape him, all this wouldn’t have happened. If this weren’t a toxic relationship, Louis would have had his pregnancy in heaven, where the angels could have taken care of him way better. 

Here comes the plot twist: Louis is not dead, they could “bring him back”. 

Back from where, exactly? When you die you go to heaven and if you die again you meet Chuck Norris?

Not to change topic but… does purgatory even exist in this universe?

The last born is alive as well, but he’s going to be mute, because his vocal cords weren’t ready yet. The babies, born a few hours earlier, already have the focused and intelligent eyes of a few-months-old toddler and they look at their father, happy and content.

I am also asking myself something… how do these half angel half demon babies even look? Do they have dove wings? Bat wings? Both? Something in between?

We won’t ever have an answer.

Then a snippet where Harry finds out one of the babies is Zayn’s (idk how, but I guess because the grown man looks a lot like the three-day-old baby) so he goes to talk to him.

He even talked with his father, Lucifer, do you remember him? He hopes to get to see the babies sometimes, so if Harry is staying in heaven he’ll go visit (even if the story told us he couldn’t, earlier). Harry tells us that he’s going to speak to the very busy Goddess of Love, a character that we hear of now for the first time. And what do even other deities do here?

Are there all deities of every religion and mythology in this universe?

Is this goddess Lilith making a short cameo?

We won’t ever know, as usual.

“Oh, I have something to tell you. So God said that he had a house built for us. I have yet to see more than pictures.”

Evgenij: – ARGH! – (Pours himself another glass of vodka.) – Fortunately pictures are like these angels and demons: they do not exist.-

After this useless snippet, it ends like this:

“I love you,” Louis said and Harry smiled leaning down a little to kiss the angel softly. 

“I love you too,” he replied lying down fitting the angel against his chest. “I will always love you,” he added.

                                                                        FIN.”

The Someone: – Do you know what’s the worst thing about this story? That the whole potential has been used only to make the rape sequences more dirty, less innocent. What should be the focus of the story, the relationship between angels and demons, isn’t even explained. Who cares, anyway? Writing a good story? Being creative? Making some character development? Everyone knows these are the LEAST important things when writing fanfiction. What matters most is satisfying the grotesque desires of horny girls, that’s the only thing that counts!-

And finally this hideous fic is over! It was bland, an insult to our intelligence, full of plot holes, scenes that don’t have a follow-up (like when they find out that Beelzebub was going to be killed by an angel/demon hybrid) and I am glad we won’t hear about all of this anymore…

Evgenij:- Actually LouisTwinklinson has published a sequel too.-

AAARGH!!!!

With sadness,

fanwriter91 and the Someone

Final note: before we published this translation of our review we realized that the horrible fanfiction discussed here and its sequel have disappeared from Wattpad! It seems that the author herself deleted them. Whatever it is, let’s celebrate!