[Review originally published in Italian. English translation made by Lowkey Loki, with the revision of JoSeBach, Shade Owl and Evgenij.]
[T. N. (Translators’ Note): In the years that passed between the publication of this review in Italian and its translation into English it seems that the original Danger fanfiction has been edited by its author. As a result, some of the comments and criticisms made by Fear Tear in its slating no longer makes sense, and will therefore be removed in this translation. When necessary, translators will intervene with alternative comments in bold.]
Hello everyone from your beloved FearTear!
Without further ado… ladies and gentlemen, here’s “Danger”.
The sleazy fanfiction that inspired hundreds of other dreadful works.
One of the reasons why Evgenij, fanwriter91 and mattheus93 banded together.
“Danger” is for Demons of Wattpad what the Wayne’s murderer was for Batman, the radioactive spider for Spiderman, the prophecy for Harry Potter, the First One for Buffy, the Black Zetsu for Naruto, the heart virus that attacked Goku’s heart for the future Trunks: I could go on forever, but I won’t.
Long story short, “Danger” is the most famous seedy fanfiction about Justin Bieber, which started a series of proselytes and copies: indeed, while reading it, you’ll find a lot of similarities with a lot of other fanfictions we’ve already talked about here. [T. N. : Such fanfictions were written in Italian, and so their reviews on this blog are in Italian as well: therefore some context will be added in this translation.]
Created by the mind of the American author Adriana v. (yes, with no capital v), this story, made of sixty-three chapters, is so popular that it was translated in various languages, including Italian.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/22786628-danger-under-revision-%E2%9C%93
Before we start, here’s a premise.
Despite what its popularity might make you think, “Danger” it’s objectively badly written. It’s not because of grammar errors, but more because of how things are said.
Except for some rare occasions, the story is mostly written in first person. And it wouldn’t be a bad thing, if it wasn’t for what the two protagonists think and say, which are often about things they shouldn’t care less about.
For example, every hecking time someone gets in or out of a car, or in/out of a room, we’re always, ALWAYS told that someone closes the door behind them after opening it.
Or, every time someone goes to take an object or walks away from a place, the character narrating almost always tells us “they walk to reach the place where there’s the thing they want to get”.
Also, basically once every chapter, the characters do at least three of these actions:
– roll their eyes;
– bite their lips;
– chew the inside of their cheeks (this is a habit that you absolutely shouldn’t indulge to, I had it for some time and I got potentially infectious cuts in my mouth);
– hiss;
– snicker;
– smile (at times specifying that the smile is on their mouth and/or face);
– raise their eyebrows;
– lick their lips;
– press their lips together, creating a thin/firm/straight line;
– nod;
– do a shake of their head.
Hence, the author often indulges in describing what the characters do with lots of details, like she’s affected by some sort of OCD that gives her the need to explain every single movement, that would be obvious for others.
The peak of this disorder can be seen in chapter 22, where, instead of saying something like “at the end of lunchtime I went to the restroom and I washed my hands”, the female protagonist says in one go a poem that not even someone like Nathaniel Hawthorne could have done.
Once I finished scarping down my lunch, I wiped my lips on a napkin before standing up and walking into the bathroom. I made my way over to the sink, holding my hand under the automatic soap dispenser before rubbing my hands together once a pink liquid squirted down onto the palm of my hand. Pulling the sink tabs towards me, I ran my hands under the running water before pushing the tabs shut and turning over to my side where I pulled the handle on the black box that began pouring out layers of napkins. Once I dried my hands and threw the napkins out, I checked my reflection in the mirror.
To quote the review of Bryan di Boscoquieto by Federico Ghirardi (a not-so-talented Italian fantasy author), in the Italian blog Gamberi Fantasy: “this is a piece of everyday life that anyone can imagine without reading it and that has no relevance in the story. As said before, there are dozens of pages of “everyday life” written like this: so incredibly boring.”
You can’t even imagine the anxiety that got me while reading paragraphs like this one. A real challenge for my patience.
And I still have to talk about the plot!
We are in Stratford, Canada.
We meet the classic Hope-type main character, who in this story is called Kelsey Anne Marie Jones Anderson McAdams (every twenty chapters her mum will call her with a different last name).
Lady R: – Is it a tribute to Daenerys, to Picasso or to Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya De La Rosa Ramirez?-
It’s Friday night. Like every Hope, Kelsey is bored and would love to go out and have fun for once in her life, but her parents don’t let her.
I could kick and scream and throw a tantrum, but it wouldn’t change anything. I was born and raised a Christian, how to respect my body and my morals, and that God is watching everything I do, and there was nothing I could do about it. […] If my parents ever found out that their daughter was out partying, I’d never hear the last of it. I might as well puncture my eardrums just to save myself the headache, so I’d rather mourn for the rest of my life then have to deal with the outcome of such a thing.
Let’s get one thing straight: in the whole fanfiction Kelsey will NEVER behave like a true Christian, even disobeying repetitively to many of the Ten Commandments.
Evgenij:- This wouldn’t be that bad, it could mean the protagonist doesn’t believe in what her parents taught her and is trying to sort out things by herself. Also, the fact that she seems to be interested just in material things and leisure is not negative: she’s a teenager, so, considering that at this age kids are “fed” with pop culture, this is completely natural. Hence, it would be good if, starting from this uninterested beginning, the protagonist could develop her own vision of the world, maybe even being indifferent to the great abstract and metaphysical matters: it would be a character development anyways even if she stayed a shallow person and was shown as such. But I really doubt something like this will happen.-
[T. N. : In the previous version of this chapter, Kelsey used to rant at length against her Christian upbringing, saying, for instance, that her life was “abnormal”. This is why Fear Tear pointed out that she was never going to follow her religion, just to underline the imbalance of the narration, which described Christianity as unbearably oppressive (and certainly it could be so, in fundamentalist and integralist communities), while subsequently found any sort of apologies for the future criminal life of the main characters. In any case, this issue was certainly one of the least problematic of the entire fanfiction, and having removed it does not fix the whole fanfiction.]
As if my mental cries of help were heard , my phone immediately began to vibrate; the screen illuminated with various messages – surprising, I know, but I do have friends believe it or not – each saying the same thing.
Block Party, tonight. Midnight at Richmond. Everyone’s invited.
Kelsey doesn’t even think about it for a second and, after getting dressed and wearing her makeup, she sneaks out of the house and goes to the party. Here she meets Carly, her best friend, and she drinks her first glass of beer all at once without even staggering a bit. Congratulations, when I drank my first beer I was wasted way before I could even finish the glass.
Evgenij:- So was I!-
Kelsey’s stunt attracts the attention of one of the guests at the party, that greets her with the usual
“Nice going, shawty”
before going away followed by his henchmen.
Lady R:- NO! NOT THE “SHAWTY”!-
Carly informs Kelsey that the guy is none other than “Danger”, the leader of a gang called The Kings.
Kelsey would like to know more, but Carly has nothing else to add except for
“He’s the most talked about guy in all of Stratford. He’s done things you wouldn’t even think of. They basically call him an untouchable because anyone who tried to take him down never succeeded.”
HacchanADL:- Danger, Crash Bandicoot’s dumb and rejected brother. Seriously, this nickname really sounds like it’s from a 90’s videogame.-
Kelsey doesn’t believe her friend’s words (what a great best friend!) and starts defending Danger, stating that until rumors are confirmed, one shouldn’t believe everything people say. Little spoiler and big plot hole: much later we will discover that those “rumors” are actually suspicions of the local police, that have been investigating Danger for months, hoping to catch him red-handed. But Carly doesn’t say this immediately, because… because…
After this dialogue, the two best friends run to the dance floor to have fun, but Kelsey doesn’t have time to even drink another beer that she loses sight of Carly. So, half tipsy, she starts looking for her, walking “past all the people dancing with each other and the people huddled around jocks turned upside down drinking from a gallon”.
I’m pretty sure that block parties don’t plan activities like these ones. But this exaggerated perspective makes sense in the POV of a girl like her, who’s been living in a closed-minded and churchy environment.
Still walking, Kelsey gets lost in a “huge valley of trees”, where she comes across Danger and the whole gang, intent on hurting a poor guy who’s begging for mercy. Seems like this guy owns the gang some money, but he’s never been able to give them back.
So, mercilessly, Danger kills him, shooting him on the forehead.
While the rest of the gang is busy hiding the corpse, Danger notices Kelsey. She’s a dangerous eyewitness, so the young criminal is forced to shoot her too… no, I’m sorry: HE KIDNAPS HER.
Kelsey is frozen because of the confusion (in fact, rather than being terrified, she’s still wondering what is going on), so Danger can easily put her on his shoulder and carefully let her sit on the passenger’s seat of the car, then start the engine and drive away in the night.
You better hold on to something, because from now on logic will disappear, never to come back ever again. It all starts with Kelsey that begs for her life… in a very peculiar way, let’s say:
“Where are you taking me? Are you going to kill me? Oh god, I don’t want to die. . . […] Are you going to kill me? […] I really need to get home. It’s late as it is, and when my parents find out I snuck out, I will die. Literally.”
[T.N. : In the previous version of the story, she did not even mention the possibility that Danger could kill her. Now it is somewhat more realistic, even though she still seems to think that her parents’ detention would be worse than being shot by a literal murderer.]
Then the two of them argue briefly. Danger asks her if she’s ever heard of him and if she believes the rumors about him, Kelsey replies that she’s heard them, but she doesn’t think they’re true even though, deep down, she starts having some suspicions… Wait, WHAT?
“I’m guessing you heard about me then?”
“Yeah, more than I wanted to. Believe me.”
“And you believe them?”
“No. . .” I flashed back to the argument I had with Carly back at the party and then my memory served what just happened moments ago.
From these few words of inner dialogue it’s becoming more evident that Kelsey’s character is simply impossible to deal with.
Evgenij:- I’d rather say she’s brain-dead.-
Not only she didn’t react at all witnessing a homicide with her own eyes (except from an initial shock), but seeing this Danger committing a crime is only making her DOUBT of his innocence!
Danger reassures Kelsey: he has no intention to kill her. Kelsey is not sure, so the dialogue takes a surreal turn.
“Take it down a notch shawty, I ain’t gonna kill you.”
Lady R:- “But I’ll call you “shawty” and maybe death is preferable.”-
“How would I know? I’m in a car with a murderer,” I rolled my eyes, my arms crossing just about my chest.
“Are you going to throw that in my face every single time I open my mouth about something?” He growled lowly, his voice deep and his eyes dark.
“No… Sorry. . .”
“Good because I’m in no mood to hear you […] Or you’re annoying pleas about me.”
From this brief exchange of words, Kelsey comes to a conclusion.
Either this kid is either A, mental. B, crazy or C, bipolar.
So far I’m leaning towards the bipolar side.
With a lot of mental gymnastics we could think our Kelsey, still young and ignorant, doesn’t really know the concept of being bipolar and so is using it inappropriately.
And it could be done, considering the character and context. The problem arises when, throughout the whole fanfiction, every time Danger gets angry while a couple of seconds before he was perfectly calm (and it happens quite often), Kelsey will blame bipolarity for his behavior. In a couple of occasions she will reproach him, even saying something like
“You really need to stop being bipolar.”
And this is twice as wrong!
First of all, because almost always it will be Kelsey the reason of Danger’s anger (not that it justifies him).
Second, and most important thing…
Bipolarity is not a vice, but a real disorder that causes the person affected by it to not being able to control their emotional state no matter how hard they try. A bipolar person can go from a period of great excitement to one of deep depression like nothing. Things like love and friendship are not enough to limit their suffering; they can help, but first and foremost they have to go to therapy.
Lady R:- THANK YOU!-
Evgenij:- Also, it’s unacceptable to try and justify a murderer since the very beginning thanks to a bogus psychological diagnosis.
Let’s move on. There’s another exchange of sarcastic sentences, then silence. Bored by the landscape (while she should actually pay attention to the street they’re going because, you know, she has been kidnapped and knowing where she is could come in handy), Kelsey turns her head and looks at Danger, realizing in that very moment how sexy he is.
Hooray, the cliche of the appearance as a sugarcoating strikes again!
I’ll say it without any fear of objections: the sparkled love between Kelsey and Danger (from now on let’s just call him Justin, we all figured it out already) clicked only because they’re both good looking.
If they both had been ugly, stay assured that Kelsey would have immediately described him as an irredeemable bad guy and Justin would have killed Kelsey and would have hidden her corpse.
The dialogue goes on. Justin repeats that he’s not going to kill her and he will let her go, but first he needs to “figure a few things out”.
HacchanADL:- The story would have taken a charmingly fun turn if the thing Justin had to understand was Kelsey’s IQ.-
Kelsey is relieved, but she doesn’t really know how to feel, so she starts making weird sounds from her stomach. Justin notices it and jokes about it, Kelsey replies, Justin starts laughing and… even Kelsey giggles, also feeling relaxed!
It’s just like if Belle had started singing “Something There” right after the Beast had imprisoned her!
Evgenij:- It’s even worse, considering the Beast never killed anyone!-
After that, Justin informs his new almost-friend that he’s taking her to his lair and Kelsey starts panicking again at that thought. Let’s specify: she’s scared at the thought of entering a murderer’s house, because sitting in the car right next to the killer in question didn’t upset her at all.
Another example of how desperately Kelsey needs to sort out her priorities…
I’d lie if I said I wasn’t letting my nerves get to me.
I’d also lie if I said I didn’t get embarrassed when my butt rubbed against the leather of the seat and made a farting sound.
… so the journey (that lasted two boring chapters) ends and the two get in the house where Justin and his gang live. A “pretty good looking” house, as Kelsey says. The unfortunate girl is led to what is going to be her cage for that night, which is Justin’s bedroom, that is wide like of an imperial suite, complete with a king-size bed.
Fanwriter91:- The typical welcome mobsters give to witnesses.-
After locking her in there, Justin goes downstairs and reunites with the other members of the gang, made of Bruce (Justin’s vice, homonym of various other Bruce from other fanfictions), Mike, Marco and Dean.
Technically there’s also a certain John, but he will appear later jumping out from a plot hole.
Like in the best tradition of second-rate bad guys, the five idiots start to re-elaborate the homicide in the park, as if they’re reminiscing something that happened ten years before.
“The bum was begging for his life when Justin had him on his knees, a silver pointed to his head. Hilarious shit,” Mike piped in as he dropped his weight onto the couch a few feet from Bruce.
“That shit was hilarious.” Marco added with a grin. “He thought he could get away with not being able to pay the money. The jackass is so fucked he actually thought he had a chance to live–“
“Too bad Justin put a bullet to his head.” Dean added in while opening a can of beer and plopping himself down on the arm chair.
Justin nodded his head, smiling. He loved when he was praised and the son of a bitch he killed was shitted on. “It was a pleasure working with him,” Justin smirked as the crowd hollered in laughter.
These are our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.
Fanwriter91:- Let’s overlook the fact that this super-godfather acts by himself instead of sending some lackey to solve this insignificant matter. They look like street thugs rather than mobsters.-
Then Justin confesses that he was seen and he kidnapped said eyewitness. Bruce suggests they should keep her with them, Justin objects because he’s promised her he would have set her free (adding the excuse that “She’s annoying.”), then the two start a fight to see who’s right. Just like that, out of the blue.
Fanwriter91:- What a great boss. Anyways, we’ve just seen the “the leader fights with his minions” cliché right from its original setting.-
In the end they agree to keep Kelsey for a night and way the next day to decide what to do with her.
Justin goes back upstairs, gives Kelsey some clothes for the night…
Throwing the shirt and shorts at Kelsey’s face, she lightly gasped, taken back.
“What’s this?” She questioned.
… and he orders her to sleep on the floor, then he exits the room locking the door. Exactly, despite his premises, Justin has no intention of raping Kelsey.
Our antihero goes into the next room instead, Kayla’s, the only female component of the gang, and he decides to spend a night of wild sex with her in order to forget his problems.
The sad role Kayla has to play in the group is being the anti-stress friend with benefits.
It’s the dawn of the following day. Justin wakes up, goes back into his room, sees that Kelsey is actually sleeping on the floor and… he feels like shit at the thought he forced her to do so.
Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the first case of reversed Stockholm Syndrome! A degenerate criminal that feels pity for his hostage!
Fanwriter91:- Nah, this is just another archetypal cliché! –
Justin even ensures to pick her up from the floor, rock her between his arms like a newborn baby and lay her down in the bed sheets. Touching, don’t you think?
HacchanADL:- It touches my stomach so much that I might throw up.-
He then goes downstairs, punches Bruce again, or else the chapter would have been too short, he goes back to his room and then he takes a shower. When he exits the bathroom, dressed only with a towel around his waist, Kelsey wakes up and feels butterflies in her stomach at the sight of drops of water shining on his porcelain abs.
Another argument. Justin asks her how she slept, Kelsey sarcastically answer that the floor was incredibly comfortable, Justin replies that the floor appreciated being rubbed by her butt too, she loses her patience and calls him “You bipolar fuck”, Justin gets angry and orders her to show some respect, considering that, if it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t be sleeping in the bed instead of the floor and…
I bit my lip, wondering what he was talking about. Looking down, it was then that I realized I was in a bed but not just any bed, his bed.
Kelsey has Wile E. Coyote’s reflexes, or she lacks the sense of touch, I don’t know. How the hell can you not notice being into a soft bed and not on the floor?!?
Anyways. Kelsey apologizes to Justin for the insult and thanks him for the kind act (yeah, what a great thing, he put her in the bed just five minutes before!), so Justin gets dressed and announces that he will take her back home.
“But,” He began and instantly my face dropped to a frown once more. “If you even dare open your mouth about what happened back at the party,” I was taken back to how close he now stood to me. “I’ll kill you.”
The crimes Justin has committed are now two, murder and death threat.
Why do I feel the need to remind you this?
Because Kelsey, that silly goose, will forget it in a couple of lines!
The car ride surprisingly wasn’t as awkward as I thought it’d be. Even though he drove in silence there wasn’t a void around us. It felt . . . Normal. Like I was in a car with one of my friends.
Before you ask: no, all of this won’t bring Kelsey to the point of being herself a criminal murderer for Justin’s sake (it would have been an incredibly more interesting plot)!
Throughout the whole fanfiction Kelsey will remain a normal, gullible student who only cares about the love Justin will feel for her, and the teeny tiny but crucial detail of him being a MASS MURDERER will always be avoided just like the bullets in Matrix.
Justin takes Kelsey in front of her house but, before letting her get out of the car, he asks for her phone number. She gives it to him.
After saying goodbye to her knight, Kelsey enters the house thanks to the typical key hidden under the doormat, but she can’t even take off her shoes that she’s found by her parents, awake and waiting for her while sitting on the couch. Obviously, they didn’t hear the car engine’s noise at all, because it’s impossible that something logical happens.
HacchanADL:- Hey, hey, don’t forget they’re Kelsey’s parents after all, she must have taken after someone.-
Right after this, Kelsey has an inner monologue, thanks to which we discover that, not only our protagonist is inhuman, she also believes in all the nonsense she’s thinking that bullshit she thinks about.
I hate my life.
Right when I finally got my freedom back , I had it taken away from me once more by, this time, my parents.
To think I’d finally get a break and just forget this whole day even happened, something like getting caught by my parents had to happen.
I swear, I have a problem not being able to hide myself well. First, Justin saw me and now my parents caught me sneaking in.
F. M. L.
In order to save her face (you should be happy you’re still alive, idiot!) Kelsey lies saying that she had been to Carly’s house to comfort her since the latter had just broken up with her boyfriend and was really depressed. The lie could be easily disproved by calling Carly, but her parents decide to trust her.
9. Thou shall not bear false witness, so long.
The mother scolds her anyways for being reckless while going out all alone in the middle of the night, but Kelsey replies saying that
“Carly lives like a few blocks away. […] Besides, I ran. So there was no chance anyone could even take me, even if they wanted to.“
Sure, as if!
Her parents insist, adding the fact that Kelsey could at least have left a note to not make them worry, but this asshole couldn’t care any less.
All I wanted was to go to bed and forget this whole night happened but of course my holy parents have to give me this long ass speech about something I could give absolutely no shits about.
5. Honour thy father and mother, yeah sure.
Evgenij:- Look, I understand this fanfiction was written and read by teenagers, I had my moments of rebellion too, but this is far beyond any normal behavior. One thing is not wanting to tell your parents you’ve been with your boyfriend, another is not telling them your life has been (and is) potentially in danger! I mean, a story could be unrealistic, but the problem here is that only Kelsey and Justin-Danger act like that, while the others have more or less reasonable reactions. Hence, I find it really difficult to empathize with the main characters.-
Kelsey promises she will never do it again, making puppy eyes too, but her parents ground her just to be sure. Kelsey stomps her feet, complains that it’s not fair, her mother replies that she’s been lucky otherwise they could have given her one month of punishment, but Kelsey doesn’t listen and storms upstairs to her bedroom.
I sincerely hope NOBODY actually has this kind of attitude in a situation like this in real life.
Let’s move on. One hour later (yes: ONE HOUR LATER) Kelsey receives a text on her phone from Justin, who asks how did the whole thing go. Kelsey reads the number of the caller and instead of going to the police station to decry the criminal… she renames him “Creeper”.
And indeed, what a coincidence, Justin is right in front of Kelsey’s house (with a brand new car, who knows where he got it) to ask her if she feels like disobeying her parents again and going out with him. Of course Kelsey accepts the challenge (I say “of course” since, knowing how she acts, you know…). She gets out of the window, climbs down the gutter and walks towards the guy that not even ten hours before had kidnapped her after mercilessly killing another person in front of her eyes.
After many long paragraphs in which Kelsey describes Justin’s and her own outfits, learns how to open the car’s door and makes a detailed description of how Justin is able to light himself a cigarette without losing the grip on the wheel, we get to one of the scenes that made me freak out the most out of the whole fanfiction.
There the protagonist has yet another inner monologue:
I felt my stomach churn in guilt. I guess, I judged him too quickly. I know, he killed someone and was probably one of the most bipolar guys I had ever met in my life, but, I still had no right to judge him because I never knew why he had done what he had.
I guess you can say I was intrigued by him and impressed that he had actually kept his word back at his house when he said he was going to let me go home.
You know, there’s a great difference between seeing the positive traits of a person and COMPLETELY IGNORING THEIR NEGATIVE ONES!
The scene of the homicide in the park was told from Kelsey’s point of view, so she has both seen and heard everything. She saw that Justin was backed up by his sidekicks while the victim was alone, and she heard from Justin’s words that the person owned him some money. And, regarding the fact that Justin kept his promise to bring Kelsey home… that’s not even an act of kindness, if we consider the detail of THE DEATH THREAT!
After a cigarette and a car drive, Justin takes Kelsey to “Perry’s Palace” restaurant to have breakfast. While the two of them are walking to their table, they bump into the main villain of the story: the fearsome Luke.
Fanwriter91: – Here’s the first Luke of all fanfictions! –
Mattheus93: – By the way, he takes inspiration from a real singer! Right, Lady R? –
Lady R: – Yes sir, Luke Hemmings from the Five Seconds of Summer. Basically like One Direction band except that they are Australian, they’re four, still together and they play instruments.-
Justin and Luke give each other a scowl, exchanging threats, then the second one goes away laughing. Nevermind. Kelsey asks Justin who he is, but she has to settle for a lame “someone I did business with”.
Fanwriter91: – I want to focus on the fact that these bosses go around without any bodyguards. If Luke had had two random lackeys, he could have killed Justino el Biebero and get this over with. –
Pretending like nothing happened, the two of them go and sit at a table and order their food. Justin smiles at the waitress and Kelsey calls him a whore-monger.
You kill people, they give you the benefit of the doubt.
You smile at more than one girl, you are a whore-monger.
What the fuck.
Strangely, Justin is not offended by the insult and he laughs. Unable to reply in other ways, Kelsey focuses her attention on the poor waitress, whose fault is just having received a smile, and she mentally addresses her saying “walk away bitch”, after she brings them the tray with their food. So grateful.
Lady R:- Who wants some battered Slut Shaming? We have plenty, there’s a 3×2 promotion!-
Justin makes fun of Kelsey for ordering French fries (while he ordered the fancier curly fries), thing that exasperates both Kelsey and me.
I simply clamed myself down before I went all crazy on the kid. The last thing I needed was to be arrested for murder.
Come on, would you stop talking in such a shallow way about homicide? (Spoiler: no, she doesn’t stop at all.)
When the lunch is over, Kelsey notices that Justin didn’t even touch his food. He replies that he was sure to be hungry but he really wasn’t, so he leaves some cash on the table, grabs Kelsey by a wrist and exits the restaurant. A minute of silence for those poor curly fries that were never eaten.
HacchanADL:- I can hear my grandma crying in the distance for the wasted food… and I’m crying too.-
After another short journey by car, Justin takes Kelsey to the back of an abandoned warehouse to show her a wonder of nature that apparently can’t be seen from anywhere else in the city.
We stood on top of a hill, the sky painted over in colors of pink, orange, yellow and purple. The clouds swayed gently around, the sun downing on top of us.
Justin explains that he found that marvel after the warehouse was nearly destroyed by a fire (are you sure it’s not burning anymore? That would explain the colour of the sky), then he tells her gallantry that the place could also be hers if she wants to.
What a great gift, anyone can go there!
Kelsey wants to know more about the warehouse because she can’t really mind her damn business. Justin explains that it was once one of the gang’s hideouts, but then a rival group set it on fire to get revenge on who knows what. Kelsey is shocked but she feels even worse when she gets to know right after.
My eyes widened. “Was anyone inside when it happened?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care.” He numbly replied. “I had other shit on my mind.”
I scoffed. What could he possibly have on his mind? Other than the innocent lives of people that might have been taken?
“So you don’t care that innocent people could have died?” I pushed, completely in awe at his words.
I mean, I knew the kid could be heartless.. But I didn’t think he could be that uncaring.
… is there a lever to reset Kelsey’s brain? A small window to remove the batteries and blow inside of it? Because this girl really needs it.
HacchanADL:- I’d suggest some slaps on the skull, like people used to do to the old CRT televisions in order to fix them.-
Evgenij:- I really don’t get why so many readers couldn’t find her obnoxious. I can’t believe it, she’s even more of an idiot and incoherent than Bo, the protagonist of “Dark”!-
In order to make the thing less bitter, Justin puts together some platitudes to justify the victims of the fire.
“People who get into this kind of business know what’s in store for them. They chose this lifestyle. They should have known their lives would be in danger the moment they agreed to sell their soul.”
“What do you mean?”
“Once you’re in, there’s no way out. You’re forever a target and you will be marked down as an enemy to several groups. That’s what I mean.”
“And you would know that first hand?”
“Does it look like I’m an every day kind of guy?”
“You sure can act like it though.”
FearTear:- Since when?-
“It’s called knowing how to play the game sweetheart.”
“Oh? So this is a game to you?”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
I wanted to write down the entire dialogue, because this is the only explanation to why Justin became a criminal.
THE ONLY ONE.
Fanwriter91: – Apart from that:
- Not everyone knows what they’re going to face when they get involved in certain businesses;
- You’re not marked for life;
- Dear Justin, you know so much about your job that you walk around with an inconvenient witness and with no guards.
Mobs hierarchy is usually:
Godfather
Boss
Advisor/underboss
Ringleader
Member
Young mafioso
The dumb young mafioso that makes a mess and gets killed (Justin would be this one).-
Kelsey checks what time it is from the cellphone. It’s noon. This tells us that the story is set on another planet. Otherwise, where would you be able to have breakfast eating chicken and fries and watch the sunset one hour before midday?
Justin immediately takes Kelsey home; they greet each other and the protagonist enters from the main door. She would be caught by her parents, but a time skip helps her by flinging her directly to 2 pm.
At the beginning of the next chapter Kelsey rolls on the bed, hoping to take a nap, but she’s not able to because she has too many things on her mind.
We finally know what the punishment is. Kelsey won’t be able to go outside her house for a week straight, except for educational purposes (school); in addition, she can’t use the television, the computer, the ipod, the laptop, the mp3 player and the phone.
We’re also told that, in that precise moment, Kelsey’s parents are out for work. Instead of taking advantage of the situation, doing whatever she wants again, she decides to take a hot shower, meticulously described. Here, closing her eyes, she imagines to be cuddled by Justin Bieber. Just to reiterate once again that the attraction she feels for the handsome protagonist is just of an aesthetic-sexual nature.
While she gets dressed again, the Best Friend™ Carly knocks at the front door. Kisses and hugs, then the two friends shove off from the living room Kelsey’s younger brother, Dennis, who was just playing with the Xbox. Chatting in the kitchen or in the bedroom was too difficult, apparently.
Lady R: -Poor boy, maybe he was playing Dark Souls! I could give him a hand. Except with the Pursuer. I still have nightmares because of that thing.-
Carly explains the reason why the other night she had disappeared so suddenly: she had to pee but she couldn’t find a toilet so she had to go out in the woods.
Kelsey… is hurt.
I shook my head at her stupidity.
I mean, Carly wasn’t always the brightest in the bunch but, damn, I didn’t think she was that stupid.
Speak for yourself, Miss “I Accept To Go Out With A Murderer That Threatened To Kill Me An Hour Ago”!
It’s Kelsey’s turn to talk about what she had done during the night.
“I..” I paused. I couldn’t exactly tell her about Justin and what I saw. I promised I wouldn’t say anything and well, I didn’t want to die. “I went home. I mean, it was getting late and I thought you left so I did.”
Ah, so she remembers the death threat! Only when it’s useful to her (or the plot) though!
In that instant, Kelsey’s mom comes back home. The woman kindly greets Carly, but then she also asks her to go away, because Kelsey, being grounded, can’t receive friends. The two best friends bid their goodbyes, then Kelsey argues with her mother.
“Didn’t I say you were grounded?” My mom gave me a pointed look.
“Didn’t you say you were going to work?” I snapped back at her.
“Don’t use that tone with me.” She warned with narrowed eyes.
I looked away. “Bitch,” I muttered, low enough for only me to hear.
Honour thy father and mother, suuuure.
Evgenij:- Acting superior with her (supposed) best friend, insulting her mom: this Kelsey really is an asshole! I’m sorry, but enough is enough.-
Once back in her bedroom, Kelsey falls asleep and screws up her biorhythm, sleeping until a quarter to 9 pm.
She would keep sleeping, but some heavy thuds, like the ones made by a falling body, wake her up. She turns the light on and… plot twist! It’s Justin Bieber bleeding in her room.
Kelsey would like to know what happened, Justin refuses to do that. So, in order to force him to talk, she starts torturing him, by pressing a hand on the wound with increasing force.
First of all, it’s gruesome.
Second, saying it annoys me, but poor Justin! There’s plenty of girls in the world and he finds the dumb sadistic one.
fanwriter91: – And here it is the cliché of Bad Boy Justin entering the house wounded and bleeding, like in “Hazard Hall”! See how all such tropes come from “Danger”? –
So, while he’s basically bleeding to death, Justin explains in detail that, after bringing Kelsey home that afternoon, he went back to his hideout, then a certain Bernie came to tell him “we had unsettled business up at the territories”, next to the territory in question he met Luke, they started fighting (here Justin starts making a list of every single punch that they exchanged during the fight!), Luke pulled out a knife, then stabbed him and left him there.
I’m now receiving word from the production that a stab wound on the side can be fatal in the majority of cases. Justin is lucky then, who knows.
Fanwriter91:- It’s less believable is the fact he managed to reach Kelsey’s room with a wound that keeps on bleeding. –
Evgenij:- It’s even less believable is the fact that the first person he thought about was Kelsey and not one of his generic lackeys that should have accompanied him. –
Mattheus93: – This is more incredible than the fact that the antagonist hit him without even finishing him. –
Kelsey’s comment:
“So they just left you there?” I questioned, my eyes wide in horror that someone would do that. I mean, I know people of capable of being heartless but damn..
So leaving a person bleeding in the middle of the street is more shameful to you than killing someone pleading for mercy, just like Justin did at the beginning of the story?
Justin swears revenge against Luke, but Kelsey replies:
“Don’t.” I shook my head. “Violence is never the answer.”
And you say that to Justin, better known as Danger, WHO YOU SAW KILLING A PERSON WHO WAS ASKING FOR MERCY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?!?
… I’m becoming repetitive, I know.
There’s one more annoying argument, then the two of them finally remember that Justin is hurt and is losing blood. Come on, Dory the fish has better reflexes than these two.
Kelsey is about to take her phone from the nightstand (phone that can’t be there because it was taken away by her parents, but ok, details), but Justin complains because if the doctors had to ask him how he got hurt he would be screwed, so no way to the ER. So Kelsey offers to heal his wounds herself and Justin accepts the offer.
… so why the hell did Justin climb up to Kelsey’s bedroom if he initially had no intention to be healed?!
The two go in the bathroom, where Kelsey finds a first-aid kit. Justin wonders why she keeps it there (why the hell do you care!) and Kelsey explains that her mother is a nurse, so she has put first-aid kits in the whole house. Logic. Just like if I was a house painter, my house would be full of paint buckets.
Fanwriter91: -I think that Hope/Kelsey has also attended some first-aid classes, because in the case of a stabbed side a tight bandage is not always enough: is there any risk of infection? Internal injuries? Hemorrhage?-
While the wound is being taken care of, Justin reminds Kelsey that she’s basically face to face with his bulge, so he makes fun of her, implying that she’s a prude that wears her grandma’s underwear™ and that she’s probably a virgin, Kelsey answers “You don’t believe anything!”, he tells her to prove it, she asks him why does he care, he explains “Gotta know the chicks I’m handling”, outraged she replies “You’re not handling anyone! As far as I’m concerned, we’re nothing.”, he replies again “Oh? You don’t think we’re anything?”…
And then Justin stands up, makes Kelsey retreat until she’s against the wall and he kisses her against her will. After a couple seconds Kelsey decides to kiss him back, accepting to let him bite her neck and touch her butt too.
For your information: it doesn’t really matter if the “victim” is eventually consenting, it doesn’t really matter if this is rape, what Justin did right now counts as sexual assault and it’s punishable by law.
There are all the premises for something more (after losing so much blood?), but unfortunately (for Kelsey, Justin and all the horny readers) Kelsey’s mother knocks at the bedroom door. Our heroine locks Justin in the bathroom and opens to her mother: there’s one more argument based on nothing between mother and daughter (is arguing the only thing these people do?), then the woman informs Kelsey that she and her husband have to go out “to handle things down at the church”, so Kelsey will be alone with her brother Dennis for some hours.
Apparently, it’s normal for parents to leave their underage kids alone at home.
Mattheus93: -And it’s normal not noticing the trail of blood that Justin should have left behind him. Where the hell are we, in Derry?-
Evgenij:- I wish! It, please, kill them all!!-
Anyway, becoming kinder, the woman greets Kelsey with a hug and she tells her “You know I love you, right?”. Oh, finally! Did you see that, Kelsey? Your parents are strict, but, if they grounded you, they did it thinking to your best interest!
Evgenij:- It must be said that telling her that you love her could also be a manipulative tactic from her mother’s side. However, in what has been seen so far of the story there is no data to think the worst, as far as Kelsey’s mother and father are concerned. Unlike Justin, to give a completely random example. –
Once the parents are gone, Justin leaves the bathroom and, annoyed by the interruption, he throws himself on Kelsey’s bed and turns on the television (that can’t be there since the parents confiscated it, BUT OK, THESE ARE JUST DETAILS).
Fanwriter91:- Oh well, he recovered rather quickly even though he was covered in blood!-
Lady R:- And he left blood on Kelsey’s covers? It’s disgusting, honestly!-
The following chapter begins in medias res, with Kelsey that is once again bandaging Justin. What might’ve happened?
One of Kelsey’s flashbacks shows us that, some minutes before, the two lovebirds had another quarrel, at the end of which Justin got up from the bed, yanked Kelsey by an arm, pushed and blocked her angrily against the wall, but before he could do anything his wound started bleeding again, forcing him to stop. End of the flashback.
First of all, was it really necessary to write a flashback of a thing that had happened a minute before?
Second… bloody hell, Kelsey! He was beating you up! GET YOUR BROTHER AND RUN AWAY! CALL THE POLICE!
Evgenij:- The police exists?! Since when?-
Obviously, nothing happens, otherwise I wouldn’t be here talking about it. Kelsey acts like a good Red Cross nurse, while Justin doesn’t miss the opportunity to cause another argument in the span of five minutes. Hooray.
The two fight insulting each other, until Justin calls Kelsey the c-word. Kelsey gets so angry that… she shuts up and resumes bandaging Justin in complete silence.
What the fuck! Leave him on his devices! He treats you awfully, he randomly insults you, leave him by himself!
On the contrary, why am I even telling you this? Of course, after patching everything up, Justin thanks her and says he’s sorry, “regret laced in his words”. Kelsey stays silent for some minutes (the text says that they watched the TV for “A few hours” in silence, but we know that time is relative in this universe), then Justin says he’s sorry once again just to be sure that she has forgiven him, she tries to look strong, failing, so they start kissing, hugging and sucking each other’s skin once again.
A kidnapping murderer bursts into your house, leaving blood everywhere and covers you in insults while you’re trying to be kind to him? Trifles! Forgive him and MaKe LoVe WiTh HiM, because you only live once! Please, go fuck yourself.
And to think that, because of an insult said by chance, a certain Half-blood Prince was repudiated for life!
After a little bit of cuddling, the two lovebirds are interrupted by Kelsey’s parent’s return. Justin, newfound Romeo, escapes from a window, but before that he tells Kelsey not to worry about him and he greets her with the sentence “That’s my girl”. Sentence that is more suitable for a father complimenting his daughter when she accomplishes something, I wanted to specify that.
A little after the mother enters the room and we witness the parody of that famous scene with Skinner, the Supervisor Chalmers and the steamed hamburgers.
“Why was your door locked?”
“I was dressing up, didn’t want Dennis to walk in here while I was changing.”
“Oh, alright.”
“How was the things back at the chur–”
“Kelsey Anne Marie Jones. What is that on your neck?!”
“What?” I pressed my hand to my neck, feeling my stomach drop to the floor. Rushing to the bathroom, I looked into the mirror and there smack on the side of my neck is a colored mark otherwise known as a hickey.
“Well?”
“Oh this? I… I was trying to curl my hair when I hit the side of my neck by accident while pulling it away from my hair…”
“I don’t see your hair in curls, Kelsey.”
“Oh… after I burned myself, I kinda gave up and threw my hair up into a messy bun.”
“Alright. Did you put any cream on it to make sure it doesn’t scar you?”
“Already beat you to it mom.”
“Okay, as long as that thing disappears, you should be fine. Have a goodnight sweetheart.”
Do not bear false witness, of course.
Kelsey lets out a sigh of relief, but she thinks “Justin is so dead the next time I see him”. Again.
In the meantime, in the lair of Justin’s gang, the last male member of the gang jumps out of a plot-hole, that John I told you about before. He’s Justin‘s best friend and we know that because they welcome each other with a fist-bump. How cute.
Fanwriter91: – The fist-bump is between chiefs, lackeys bump their heads together, just as “Hazard Hall” has taught us.-
John wants Justin to admit that, deep down, he likes Kelsey, that he trusts her and that he should let her permanently be part of his life, with a speech that would be perfect in one of Meyer’s books.
Left alone, Justin ponders the words he’s just heard.
I didn’t like Kelsey. I couldn’t.
Hell, she annoys the shit out of me. Half the time I feel like knocking her in her face and calling it a day.
But then there’s her understanding and her non-judgment [FearTear:- No, dear Justin, she DOESN’T KNOW how to judge, it’s way different!] … the way her lips feel against mine… they’re like my drug.
Her body’s to die for and she’s hot as fuck.
She’s also annoying, has a big mouth and talks a hundred words per second. There’s no filter or stop button on her, she’s irritating and asks a lot of questions.
She doesn’t know when to shut up and drives me insane.
She invades my mind and there’s no getting rid of her.
But her eyes…
Yeah, ok, long story short, the attraction is purely PHYSICAL!
If they weren’t good looking in the slightest, they wouldn’t even talk at all!
The only reason why I find them a likely couple is because both of them have mood swings and do things that make no sense, and that’s it!
In order to vent his frustration, Justin goes to Kayla and they have sex all night long.
The next morning, Mrs. Jones-Anderson McAdams storms into Kelsey’s bedroom and takes her to school. I’d like to highlight that the fanfiction started with a Friday night, while everything I have just summed up until now happened on a Saturday. Now, there are two options: either people in Stratford go to school even on Sundays, or their weeks last just six days (and there is no Sunday at all).
Remember thou, keep holy the Lord’s day, sure!
Fanwriter91:- Even though the Lord actually rested on a Saturday; Christian people have taken it after Hebraism and changed it to their liking, but it doesn’t really matter.-
Back to what we were saying, the mother orders her to get up, wash her face and teeth and come down to have breakfast, because they are already super late. Anyway, Kelsey takes all the time in the world to comb her hair and makeup in order to cover her dark circles (maybe you’ll learn not to sleep all afternoon!) and, once she’s done, her mother and her brother Dennis are already outside waiting for her.
Now brace yourselves, because we’re going to discover another frustrating side of our dear protagonist’s personality: the loss of the ultra-short-term memory!
Walking out of the front door while closing it behind me, I was relieved to see that my mom was in the car with Dennis. Thanking God that she didn’t leave and I wouldn’t have to walk, I was about to walk into the passenger side when I saw my brother seated there already. “What the hell?” I lowly screamed. “That’s my seat you twerp! Get up.”
I know this is basically trifle and I shouldn’t think too much about it, but bloody hell, Kelsey! You have just seen Dennis in the car with your mum, how did you not see where he was sitting?!?
Kelsey complains because she usually sits in the passenger’s seat, but her mother tells her to quit complaining and to sit in the back, because they don’t have time. Our heroine gives up and, behaving like the immature person she is, she stomps her feet shouting “This is so not fair!”, then she gets in the car slamming the door so violently that she almost breaks it. Her mother turns around to scold her, but Kelsey replies:
“I know, I know. I shouldn’t have slammed the door. Blah, blah, can you drive now?” I spat. She stared at me with wide eyes, opening her mouth to say something before she shut it, looking forwards. Shaking her head in disbelief, she began to back out of the driveway.
Honour thy father and mother– oh, forget it.
If I had been in that patient woman’s shoes, I would have got out of the car and slapped Kelsey so hard that it would have fixed her brain. Come on!
Fanwriter91:- And then she has the nerve to consider her parents two bigots who never give her any freedom? In my opinion she seems a spoiled and arrogant brat!-
We finally reach the school. Kelsey is going to her classroom, but while she does so, she is grabbed and slammed against the wall (another cliché with the bad guy who approaches this way the girl he likes), finding herself eye-to-eye with Justin Bieber. Because yes, the infamous, mass murderer and fuckboy Danger is more or less the same age as Kelsey and goes to the same school.
Fanwriter91:- And why this? Why should he go to school? Ok, maybe it’s mandatory (it varies from state to state) but according to the law he shouldn’t kill as well, and he doesn’t care about that at all. Does he study? What are his grades? No teacher asked to talk to his parents?-
From the heights of her intelligence, our heroine shows us that she knows everything about life.
“What are you doing here Justin?” I hissed, looking in both directions in case anyone happened to be walking by. The last thing I needed was to get in trouble by the principal or dean about why I wasn’t in class yet.
Ohhhhhh… my fucking Kira, where do I start?
First: Kelsey hopes no one arrives seeing this, while she should hope someone comes around to saves her from that creep (and murderer too).
Second: Kelsey thinks that, if the principal saw them, SHE would be in trouble, despite it’s pretty clear that Justin’s holding her against her will.
Third: Kelsey’s fear in the second point contains a terrible implication, which is the very-discussed idea that “if you get raped, it’s YOUR fault because you let it happen”. This fanfiction is written by a girl, so this is even more concerning.
Fourth: when something happens, everyone disappears. Ok, lessons started, but how is that possible that not a single janitor or a teacher on break may not pass by?
Let’s move on. Acting out of his own character, Justin starts asking provocative questions like
“You didn’t like the way… I sucked your neck?”
Deep down Kelsey admits that yes, she liked the kiss, but she doesn’t want to give Justin the satisfaction of knowing it. Justin doesn’t fall for her lies, so he gives her another hickey on the neck and proceeds to force his tongue in her mouth.
He tipped the valley between my lips, wanting access but I kept it locked shut. Upon noticing this, his free hand slipped down to my ass where he squeezed it, making me gasp. Taking this as his opportunity, he stuck his tongue down my throat, sliding it against my own.
There’s no doubt, this is a full-on sexual assault!
Unfortunately, Kelsey secretly likes the way Justin is moving on her body, so the events take a… sci-fi turn.
Kelsey shouts “What do I look like to you? A slut?”, Justin answers “What do I know about what you do on your spare time?” and, for the first time in the universe history, Kelsey shows she has a dignity.
Of course, I would have preferred she would have despised the unwanted harassment rather than just Justin’s words, but also this slut-shaming is a serious topic.
So, let’s see how our Kelsey defends herself…
“Now, hold up a second there Bieber.” My eyes narrowed as I began walking over to him. “We may have had our share of fun but we never went further than kissing so you can take your huge ass ego, rude, obnoxious remarks and bipolar self else where because I am not in the mood for you and your games. I may be a lot of things but one thing I’m not is a slut.” I spat, pressing my index finger to his chest. “Got it?” I arched a brow, cocking my head to the side.
He stood there, stunned.
I gave him a once over before scoffing and shaking my head. “Deuces, Bieber.” I gestured with my two fingers towards him as a signal goodbye before turning and walking away.
And that’s what you get when you mess with Kelsey Anne Jones.
… ehm, no.
I’m sorry, dear author, but this “the woman raises her voice” trick works only in cartoons. If someone pinned you to a wall to harass you, the best things to do are:
– scream for help;
– kick the aggressor in the nuts.
Doing like Kelsey did would only result in laughs and even more harassment!
Lady R: – Also, “ may be a lot of things but one thing I’m not is a slut ”: my compliments for your slut-shaming, Hope.-
We move into class. Kelsey is still laughing to herself for the embarrassment she put Justin in when, from a couple desks behind, Carly The Best Friend throws at her a piece of paper, where there’s written “Is it true? That you know Danger?”. Kelsey ignores it, but, at the end of the class, Carly catches up in the corridor to finish their talk.
Kelsey denies knowing Danger, even when Carly informs her that there are rumors going around about the two of them.
HacchanADL:- But it’s the first time they interact at school (in the corridor, which is apparently desert, by the way), how is it possible that there are already rumors about them?-
Carly gives her the benefit of the doubt, but she warns her anyway to stay away from Justin and repeats what she had told her at the party, which is
“He’s done things you couldn’t even imagine. They don’t call him Danger for nothing.”
Kelsey shivers, like it was the first time she heard about Justin’s “dark side”. Whatever.
Evgenij:- Why not, she had just seen him for the first time while he was killing someone. It’s not that much, compared to “things you couldn’t even imagine”, am I right?-
Also, let’s take this sentence out of context, imagine people talking about someone you don’t know saying “He’s done things you couldn’t even imagine, that’s why they call him Danger”.
What would you think? That he’s an idiot that drives while drunk and this is why he gets in accidents? That he doesn’t wear a helmet while driving his motorbike? It doesn’t look like they’re talking about a super criminal…
Once the talk is over, Kelsey is incredibly hungry and goes to the cafeteria, but before even entering the door, she’s stopped again by Justin, who proposes her to go out with him.
The scene changes and the two lover-birds are again in the back of the shed looking at the eternal sunset. Kelsey asks him why he brought her back there (so she stayed silent the whole journey from school?), Justin explains that he wanted forgiveness for calling her a whore, Kelsey teases him about him being sorry, Justin replies that it’s not true, blah blah blah.
Ah, here there is a more interesting part (it’s still an equally disgusting dialogue, but it’s worth wasting a couple words).
“You know, you owe me.” I spoke up once again.
He barked out a sharp laugh. “For what?”
I shrugged. “Everything.”
“Everything as in…?” He paused, waiting for me to fill in the blank.
“Saving your ass.” I smartly replied with a sway of my head to the side to flash him a smirk.
“If anyone saved anyone’s ass here, that’s me.” He pointed to himself.
I let out a sharp laugh. “Are you kidding me?”
“No, Jones, I’m not.” He licked his lips. “I saved your ass from Bruce and all the guys. If it wasn’t for me, you’d probably be dead right now.”
I froze. “What?”
“Don’t be stupid Kelsey. Did you really think the guys were going to let you go after witnessing a murder?”
Oh, finally a turn in this relationship!
Justin says he has nothing to do with the death threat, so at least one problem is solved.
“Despite the fact that you saved my butt, I saved yours more than once.” I pointed out.
“When?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I tapped my chin, pretending to think. “For starters when my parents asked me where I was the night you practically kidnapped me…”
He opened his mouth now to say something but I interrupted before he could.
“When you were stabbed and when Carly asked me if we talked–“
Oh, Kelsey really can’t really give the right weight to things. Between stopping criminals from killing a witness and hiding a “getaway” (that’s how Kelsey would define what happened that night) from her parents, I think there’s a difference which is slightly TITANIC!
The dialogue then is about Carly and the rumors’ topic for a little bit. Justin becomes serious and says he can’t let people know about the relationship he has with Kelsey. Our heroine asks what he means, Justin tells her to stop asking stupid questions, but Kelsey replies that she can’t do anything about it, because, being a girl, it’s in her nature being curious (she pins stereotypes to herself on her own, we just needed that).
They go back to the “who saved whose ass” topic. Justin asks what she wants in exchange, Kelsey replies that she’s starving, Justin understands and says he will take her somewhere to eat. Finally!
… or not. Kelsey bites her lips for the millionth time. Pretending to point this out, Justin gets closer and closer and in a couple seconds the two of them are clinging to one another to kiss, bite and squeeze each other’s ass.
Since there’s nobody there to stop them, they decide to take this to the next level: backing into the shed, they throw themselves on the incredibly convenient couch and rub each other’s inferior parts… still dressed, lol.
Despite this little detail, Kelsey reaches ecstasy, and once all this LLLLLLOVE scene is over, Justin informs her that he’s made her experience her first orgasm. What does he know?!
In the following chapter they’re again in the car and Kelsey is back to be her usual noisy self.
Did I just practically have sex with Justin Bieber?
I think I just did and I don’t know what to do with myself.
Maybe I should do what Blair Waldorf did on Gossip Girl when she lost her virginity to Chuck–visit on a priest at the local church and confess my sins.
Come to think of it, that wouldn’t work because my parents knew everyone at the church and if they found out what happened between Justin and I, I’d be screwed big time. Forget about me being grounded, I’d be shunned from the world and locked up like an animal if they found out.
Apart from the fact that rubbing each other with clothes on doesn’t equal to losing your virginity, she’s even convinced that priests gossip about the sins they heard confessing.
Someone please tell her that, if he did something like this, the priest would be excommunicated, at least in theory.
Fanwriter91:- Holy cow, this girl is committing a crime after another (covering a homicide, protecting a criminal, …), while she accuses people of stupidity and cruelty!-
More cuddles, more exchanges of sweet words and sentences that don’t take the plot anywhere, and finally they arrive at the “Perry’s Palace” restaurant, the same one of the day before. And now I ask myself: did no one notice Kelsey’s missing from school? Are there no afternoon lessons anymore? Don’t the parents find weird that their daughter didn’t come back on time to fulfill her punishment?
Nevermind (nevermind my ass).
Their waitress introduces herself as Jennifer DeLouis and Justin recognises her immediately. She seems to know him too, and, considering the awkwardness between them, it’s clear that they’re not in good terms. Justin even orders Jennifer to call another waitress and she seems to agree.
Mattheus93: – Mh… Google says nothing about this Jennifer DeLouis, so I’d say we can consider her an original character and not inspired by any real celebrity. –
Lady R: -That’s better. A fictional girl reduced to “slut” is better than a person who really lived.-
After giving their orders to another waitress, Kelsey (who really cannot mind her fucking business) asks Justin what happened between him and Jennifer. He tells her he doesn’t want to talk about it, but she doesn’t agree and states she deserves to know.
Fanwriter91:- We open bets! Mine is on the ex who made him suffer and has sent him in this world of violence and pain! –
“No, you fucking don’t.” He spat. “It’s none of your god damn business and last time I checked you’re not my girl so you don’t have to know shit and even if you were, I wouldn’t tell you. Now keep quiet and shut the fuck up.” He sneered through gritted teeth. I could tell by the shade of his eyes that he wasn’t joking.
Hearing this river of insults and denials on her being his girlfriend, Kelsey gets deeply offended. But she doesn’t stay silent, like the time Justin had called her a whore, all the contrary: pulling out her dignity for the second time, our heroine tells Justin that she’s had enough of being treated this way and she has no intention of going on with this story.
Great, Kelsey, GREAT! That’s how you do it! Show us that you can say “enough” whenever you want…
“And when we’re done eating,” I gestured between us. “I’m leaving.”
… nothing, she really can’t do things properly until the end. Leave him there now! Who cares about lunch!
Mattheus93: – Oh, calories are important, as long as they aren’t taken in excessive quantities. –
Lady R:- Maybe she hopes to get him pay lunch.-
HacchanADL:- Aaah, lunch is important now, right? I didn’t forget the curly fries left there a couple chapters ago. I certainly didn’t forget!-
So, while the two ex lovey-doves eat in silence, Kelsey delights us with another one of her nonsense mental rants.
I mean, it’s one thing to want privacy but to be a person that demands one person about their own lives–like he does with me–but once they ask him–like how I did with him–he won’t open up.
How hypocritical is that? I mean, it would be a different story if he never demanded to know things about me but he does and he won’t even have the decency to tell me what’s going on when someone who Justin clearly had a past with comes up to us? That’s bullshit.
The logic would work, if it weren’t for the fact that Justin NEVER showed interest for Kelsey’s private life. Who knows, maybe she’s referring to the time when Justin said that she was wearing her grandma’s underwear… but that was a teasing sentence, not a real example of interest!
But the monologue and the bullshit it contains is not over yet.
I refuse to be anyone’s bitch especially Justin’s. There’s only so much I can handle and his mood swings was a big part of that.
A kiss isn’t always going to fix everything and neither is an apology. I need an explanation and I vow to get it. Even if it’ll take months or even years. I will get one because I deserve it especially after everything I’ve gone through these past few days including saving his ass–countless times.
Dignity really went to shit. One minute before she declares she’s full of it like Alice when she leaves the non-birthday party, the next one here she is trying again to know everything, even using the excuse of “I saved your ass many times”, which is massive bullshit.
And also… “A kiss isn’t always going to fix everything and neither is an apology”, please go fuck yourself! Every argument between Kelsey and Justin always ends this way!
At the end of lunchtime, Kelsey goes to the toilet in order to wash her hands (in that famous needlessly long and detailed piece I told you about in the beginning). After a while Jennifer goes in too, Kelsey tries to get all Justin’s secrets from her, but Jennifer shows that she truly deserves the title of best character of the whole story, showing patience and maturity that are more unique than rare.
“I’m sorry,” She shook her head, cutting me off short. “I know where you’re headed with this and as much as I’d like to help you, I can’t.”
“Why not?” I furrowed my eyebrows together. “It’s obviously something happened between you and Justin and I think I have a right to know.”
She sighed, brushing past me, heading over to the door. “Look, you seem like a nice person but I just… I can’t.” She took a deep breath, grabbing onto the door’s handle. “It’s not my business to tell and quite frankly, it isn’t Justin’s either. I don’t mean to be rude but it’s best you mind your own business. Give it a few days. I’m sure he’ll tell you.”
So our Kelsey finally realises that the secret Jennifer and Justin have must be something really severe. She feels stupid for her continuous attempts to make them confess a truth that probably still hurts them today. She promises to herself that from now on she’ll be more discreet and less possessive regarding people around her- OF COURSE NOT.
I stood there, confused as ever with my brain swirling with what she had just said. What did she mean that it’s not Justin’s business? Obviously what happened included him into the equation and if I were to have any sort of relationship with him, I’d have a right to know too.
How could I ever possibly be anything with him if I can’t even trust him? Or if he can’t even trust me?
Seriously Kelsey… Who the hell are you? Who knows you? If they told you it’s not your business, IT’S NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!
Moreover, just to remind you, he’s a murdering kidnapper, a rapist with serious issues in anger management, who throws you insults every chapter! Why the fuck would you want to have a relationship with someone like him?!
Ten minutes later, Kelsey realises that she’s still in the toilet (go see a doctor, sweetie, it’s not normal to dissociate for this long), so she gets out, greets Justin with a bitter “bye” and exits the restaurant, but Justin catches her in the parking lot and there’s another argument which consists of “Don’t touch me”, “Always a fucking drama queen”, “I wouldn’t have to be if you would just open up once in a while”, “I don’t have to tell you everything Kelsey”, “And neither do I but you know after your annoying ass, I gave in because I’m a nice person like that. But, oops, I forgot you don’t care about anyone but yourself”, “You’re such a bitch”, “And you’re a dick”, …
Then, with no prompt whatsoever, Justin grabs Kelsey by an arm and slams her against a car, showing himself as the criminal that he truly is:
“Now, listen, and listen good you fucking bitch,” Justin spat in a deadly tone, his face dangerously close to mine. “I don’t have to fucking tell you my business if I don’t want to. Got it? I don’t fucking have to bitch and just because you told me doesn’t mean shit.” He sneered. “You should be kissing my ass for even keeping you alive,” His eyes stared straight into mine, not even daring to glance sideways. “I should have killed you when I had the chance.” He shoved me back one last time before pulling away, his chest heaving up and down from the anger.
Lady R:- CALLED IT.-
Justin, or Danger, is a violent character, quick to anger, who doesn’t care about anything, who kills people. A monster that must be reported immediately to the police. Will Kelsey understand, after such brutal treatment?
I’d lie if I said that didn’t hurt just the slightest bit and I’m not talking about the pain in my back. I’m talking about the hurtful words that he had just spoken to me.
No, nevermind, she can’t do it. She really can’t do it. Justin has beaten her and threatened her life, and she cries because she thought he was a person she could have a relationship with and the world crumbled instead.
This cretin doesn’t care AT ALL about her safety or her health, all that matters to Kelsey is having a good bond with that sexy guy who has been gallant a couple times at most.
Indeed, instead of running into the restaurant and asking for help, Kelsey just answers “But, don’t worry. You won’t be having to worry about me much longer because I’m done. Goodbye Justin.”, walking towards the street.
She’s not even able to walk for long (also because where the hell does she want to go, it’s Justin the one with the driver license) that a brand new car abruptly stops in front of her, and the driver leans out of the window to reach her.
“You need a ride? You look a bit upset. I know you don’t know me but I saw what happened back there with your boyfriend and I’m sure you don’t want to deal with him right now. Am I right?”
I bit my lip. “He’s not my boyfriend.” Was all I said.
I could see the smirk pulling at his lips. “Ah, well, either way, you seem upset. Do you need a ride or not? I promise, I don’t bite.”
… let’s say it, everyone:
Kelsey accepts the ride from the stranger, though. I don’t feel like blaming her completely, the other option was staying with that violent guy that is Danger after all…
… ah no, sorry. For the sake of the plot, Danger turns immediately into a normal guy that has just argued with his girlfriend, and tries anything to convince her into giving him another chance, as “desperation tinted with in his voice”.
Bipolarism? No! This is the author’s incapability of giving her characters a consistent personality!
There are some scenes where Justin, concerned about the fate of his potential spare friend with benefits, quickly goes back to his buddies and orders them to prepare the “equipment” to find the mysterious car, but we don’t care (the author doesn’t either, since we’ll never get the explanation of how this equipment works nor what it looks like).
Let’s keep our focus on Kelsey, still in the car with Andrew, the stranger driver. They have a friendly dialogue, and our heroine gets lost in noticing how handsome her companion is, just like earlier with Danger.
A little voice in her head tells her that “I’m not going to lie, he’s kinda cute. But, he’s no Justin.”. Come on.
Once reached her destination, Kelsey thanks Andrew for the ride and gets out of the car. Once out, though…
Just as I looked up, I felt my stomach drop and my heart beat accelerate. “Wait,” I turned around. “This isn’t Anderson Lane.”
Lady R:- Kevin Wendell Crumb, is it you?-
Once again, the disconnection between eyes and brain played a nasty trick on Kelsey. She could have easily seen through the window that she was brought in an unknown place, but ok.
In a few moments Kelsey is seized by a pair of unknown arms and suffocated to the point where she faints. Our damsel in distress wakes up a couple minutes later, tied to a chair and imprisoned in an empty room.
She doesn’t even have the time to think of how to free herself that the only door of the room opens and four shady men enter, including their boss, who is none other than the fearsome Luke.
Luke explains that he kidnapped Kelsey both because he wants to hurt Justin and for personal fun. Indeed, after slapping her a couple times, he leaves her with Andrew who, feeling a bit like the Joker, grabs a pocket knife and cuts a line that goes from her cheek to her neck.
I repeat: A CUT THAT GOES FROM THE CHEEK TO THE NECK! A wound so severe it would make someone lose a ton of blood, would make us scream in pain… But Kelsey, being the incredibly strong woman that she is, just presses her lips and holds her tears.
And, if it weren’t enough, once Andrew goes away, guess what Kelsey thinks about!
Her family? Carly the best friend? The remote possibility that someone at school noticed her missing and called the police?
“ Where are you, Justin? ”
Of course not! Obviously her first thought goes to Justin, the one that not even an hour before had covered her in insults and yanked her, and let’s not consider all the harassment, the kidnapping and the brutal homicide in the park!
Fucking Kaguya, what the hell are we talking about?! What does the author want to tell us, that between two evils we have to choose the lesser and that it has to possibly have the face and the name of Justin Bieber?!?
… let’s move on. Kelsey falls asleep without noticing and, when she wakes up, she’s not tied to a chair anymore, but to a bed. Our D. I. D. (Damsel In Distress) feels a great urge to cry, but she tries to hold it because she doesn’t want to give her kidnappers the satisfaction of seeing her suffer (someone has to tell her that this might rather annoy them).
But by chance, in the next minute, Luke and his henchmen enter the room, ready as hungry wolves, in order to rape her. But first they install a camera in a corner of the room, so they can record their actions and watch them later. Kelsey tries to act cocky and to answer back to Luke, but, as a reward, she receives a punch so powerful that her entire body shakes.
Despite the blow, she’s not passed out nor dazed. This is technically, physically and humanly impossible. Even the toughest fighters of mixed martial arts would give anything to have Kelsey’s resistance.
HacchanADL:- Hope’s characteristical Bionic strength? Check!-
Not satisfied, Kelsey even spits in Luke’s eye. Result: Luke first chokes her, then jumps on her and brutally rapes her. This should convince me to take Justin’s side, but I don’t fall for it. Just because his methods are less violent than Luke’s, it doesn’t mean that one is automatically “good” and the other is “bad”. Very easily explained, they’re both awful shits.
Speaking of Justin, thinking about it, he remembers that he has already seen Andrew’s car in Luke’s territory, so him and the whole gang, weapons fully loaded, leave to go to their antagonist’s lair and to kill them.
There’s a scene that should be epic, with Justin that bursts into the room and saves his beauty from the evil Luke… instead it ends up being ridiculous, thanks to the simple fact that Justin has a gun but not him nor Luke pay any attention to it! In fact Luke acts cocky, and in response Justin hits him bare handed, while shouting “If I were you, I’d keep your mouth shut.”… Bah, I give up trying to understand the dynamic of the action.
In short, Justin defeats Luke, then frees Kelsey from the ropes that bound her to the bed and offers her his jacket to protect her from the cold, but it’s not time to be relieved yet, because in the meantime Luke, already recovered from the blow, hits him in the head with the stock of Justin’s own gun, since he had lost it without noticing. Lol.
Behind Luke, though, the loyal John joins the fight and he shoots a warning shot with his gun, useful to distract Luke enough to let Justin reclaim the lead and, most importantly, the weapon.
Finally he seems like he has decided to kill Luke once and for all, when…
“Don’t shoot Justin.” I came to recognize the voice to be Kelsey’s.
I tightened my grip on the gun. “And why not?”
“Because…” She neared closer to my body, holding the jacket I gave her tight to her body.
I shook my head. “There is no way in hell I’m letting this sonofabitch live. He’s going to pay for what he did to you.”
“I’m fine Justin. Look, he didn’t do anything.”
… sorry, I’m getting a break, I need to retrieve my brain that has just run away in protest.
“Yeah, no thanks to me. If I wouldn’t have came, he would have raped you and God knows what else he would have done after.” I gritted my teeth, feeling the need to kill him grow with each passing second as realization sunk in.
“But you saved me.” She whispered, pressing a hand to my shoulder. “Isn’t that what matters? That I’m alright?”
“Of course that matters,” I mumbled. “But it still doesn’t excuse what he did to you. I’m going to kill him for even thinking of crossing me and putting his hands on you. It’s one thing to attack me. It’s another to attack the people I care about.”
“Don’t do it Justin. Please, I just want to go home.” She whimpered. “Please…” I could sense the desperation in her voice.
So Justin listens to her. He puts away his gun, hugs Kelsey, kisses her and they leave.
You’re probably asking:“Hasn’t Kelsey just been raped by Luke? Is she stupid by any chance?”
… actually yes, she is stupid, but not the way we all would think. It’s not like she has suddenly developed Stockholm Syndrome for Luke, or else she would’ve had the thought “Justin, don’t kill him or you’ll become like him!”.
No. But that’s because, before leaving, Justin grabs the gun and shoots Luke’s leg, shouting “Karma’s a bitch.”, and promising to kill him the next time he dares going against him. And Kelsey… says nothing!
Lady R:- It’s called dharma. Read some Buddhist blog!-
So, why the hell did she want Justin to spare Luke? Just because she couldn’t wait to go home and couldn’t wait a second more? I’ll tell you now, who cares about spoilers. Soon Luke will be back again to ruin the two lovers’ life and, in a relatively calm scene, Kelsey will think she must not fear him, because Justin will easily take care of him. We can guess Kelsey doesn’t give a damn if Luke lives or dies. So why, then, did she implore Justin to spare him earlier?
-End of part 1-
Demoni di EFP, Wattpad e molto altro! 